Center Blog

Is it so incredible that one could be involuntarily outed and functionally excommunicated “In This Day And Age?!” Sad to say, it is not. The selfsame title of the book by Isaac Namdar, M.D. chronicles his own personal experience of this tragedy which ultimately and paradoxically created a positive movement of communication within his strict Orthodox community. After being outed against his will and publicly censured by his rabbi and expunged from the membership roster of his synagogue, Dr. Namdar opened up an internet message board for all who wished to comment to do so publicly. This medium provided a podium which ultimately touched many chords that resonated within his close knit and very orthodox community. And he compiled all of the resultant dialogue into an eminently readable book which poignantly traces one man’s movement through the conflicts of loyalty to close knit ethnic identity, spiritual identity and sexual identity. It also tells a story of an ethnic minority struggling to come to terms with itself, its culture and its religion in a pluralistic society.

Isaac Namdar and Andrew Mitchell were married in a civil ceremony on July 1, 2009 and celebrated their loving union with a party for family and friends that October. A wedding website was subsequently created to share the happy stories and photos of the wedding and honeymoon for their intimates to enjoy. Little did either suspect the furor soon to be aroused in Isaac’s Orthodox community when this website was ‘crashed’ and the contents of the website made public in January of that year. A man who sought only privacy and peace had been outed by a stranger, against his will, and his world and his family’s world was certainly never the same.

The book “In This Day And Age?!” is a compendium of the discourse among members of Dr. Namdar’s tightly interwoven religious/ethnic community, as they grappled with the issues of spirituality, identity, Jewish law and customs and the morality attached to the denial or acceptance of the individual’s right to pursue his/her own path versus the needs of a community desperately seeking cohesion. The issues brought up by the many respondents on the message board Dr Namdar maintained as a forum are diverse, fascinating and show a genuine striving to come to terms with homosexuality as organic to their population and not some phenomena infiltrating from the outside.
Throughout it all, Dr. Namdar behaves with ultimate equanimity, reasonableness and an honorable willingness to engage in dialogue without compromising himself or his commitments. As he states, his goal in establishing a discussion board was to educate as many people as possible about equity and tolerance and, by the overall tenor of his account, he succeeded (of course, bigots on the fringes will exist within any religious or social group).

Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum, spiritual leader of Congregation Beit Simchat Torah for nearly two decades, was the introductory speaker of the evening and moderator of the lively, open discussion that followed Dr. Namdar’s forthright presentation of his work. Renowned for her humanitarian outlook and unwillingness to back down in the face of controversy, Rabbi Kleinbaum’s presence gave evidence of New York’s Gay and Jewish work for dignity, equality and human rights for all.
CBST, not incidentally, is the largest LGBT synagogue in the world, and zealously pursues social action on all gay-related issues, including youth homelessness, health, aging and marriage equality as well as sponsoring an active transgender coalition. The synagogue’s “Strength Through Community” features guest videos by noteworthy members of the gay Jewish world who speak out against hate and bullying as well as directly addressing the epidemic of gay teen suicides.

Dr. Namdar’s book is available at amazon.com and makes for a lively and provocative read.

Written by Spencer Shear

Wednesday evening, February 23, the Center, in conjunction with the Leslie-Lohman Gay Art Foundation, hosted an event titled “Allure, Desire & the African-American Model.” The program featured photographers Ripp Bowman & JD Dragan, who specialize in capturing images of black men. There was a cocktail hour where guests got to socialize & look at examples of the artists’ work adorning the walls of the Lerner Auditorium. Following that was a panel discussion moderated by Steven Broadway (also known as the artist Boyway), an accomplished artist in his own right from Nepal. 3 models who have posed for the artists were also featured.

The panel discussion was lively as the artists discussed doing this type of work long before Robert Mapplethorpe put images of black men on the map, so to speak. Also discussed were issues of exploitation & the oversexualization of black men. What are the boundaries between art, erotica & pornography? The models spoke about their own motivations for posing, generally exhibitionism, for the money, or some combination thereof. There was much food for thought &, hopefully, this is a dialogue that will be continued at some point.

Enjoy these pictures from the event:

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center is mourning the passing of New York based Chloe Dzubilo, a fierce, frontline transgender activist and friend. Chloe died several days ago.   She was a beacon of light and touched the lives of numerous people at the Center for many years. Our thoughts and prayers are with Chloe’s family and friends.

You can read more at this facebook memorial page and in this heartfelt note by her friend Viva Ruiz posted by Villlge Voice Columnist, Michael Musto. Lori E. Seid also posted this poignant blog about Chloe which included a beautiful quote from Chloe while she was alive:

“Ain’t nothing like knowin’ what it feels like…when you slip thru the cracks of society, political niceties, political correctness, health care, housing, employment, wealth, shoe stores, subways, family outings, holidays, systems, systems, Systems. Ain’t nothing like knowing these facts deep in one’s bones. When you’re transsexual. Ain’t nothing like knowing triumph over all of these adversities.” – Chloe Dzubilo

Breaking news this afternoon!  President Obama has directed the Justice Department to stop defending the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) against lawsuits that challenge it as unconstitutional. Enacted in 1996, DOMA denies married same-sex couples federal benefits extended to other married couples, including Social Security survivor payments and the right to file joint tax returns.

Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. released a statement that read in part:

After careful consideration, including a review of my recommendation, the President has concluded that given a number of factors, including a documented history of discrimination, classifications based on sexual orientation should be subject to a more heightened standard of scrutiny.  The President has also concluded that Section 3 of DOMA, as applied to legally married same-sex couples, fails to meet that standard and is therefore unconstitutional.  Given that conclusion, the President has instructed the Department not to defend the statute in such cases.  I fully concur with the President’s determination.

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center applauds today’s decision.  This moves our community one step closer to a day when loving committed same-sex couples are fully protected under the law. This month and next the Center is at the forefront of hosting marriage equality discussions, as we feature and continue to welcome a myriad of voices on the topic.  You can read more about our events here.
Today’s marriage equality news is a victory for our community and the Center is committed to furthering discussion and advocacy around this issue as we all continue to work towards full equality.

Glennda Testone

Guest Post by Center Volunteer, Mark Schulte:

Gay men are stereotyped as being members of certain professions, among them artists, fashion industry, flight attendants, hair stylists and interior designers.  Also included are actors and the those who work in the hotel industry.  Guests at the Center’s Speakers Series this past Tuesday, February 15 were treated to a program featuring Michael Fazio, author of the book, ”Concierge Confidential,” in conversation with interviewer Ernest Ortiz. 
 
Michael, a self-described “people pleaser,” spoke about how he took his passion for making people happy and parlayed it into a position as personal assistant to actor Charlie Sheen, then subsequently to that of head concierge at the Intercontinental Hotel.  In this role, it was his job to take care of rich and famous, celebrities and those who think they are.  Everything from a dozen roses to a dozen hookers, front row seats at Lady Gaga’s concert to reservations at NYC’s hottest restaurants to first class seats on an overbooked flight to Paris, it was his job to get them, and reap the monetary benefits when he was able to deliver what the guests wanted.
 
Attendees were treated to an inside look at a world alien to many and given tips on how to operate within that world.  Especially insightful was the advice on tipping, though perhaps bribing would be a more accurate term.  When does the concierge get “tipped” and when does he need to do some “tipping” himself?  How essential a role does attitude play?  How does one make the necessary connections?  These questions and more were answered with aplomb and anecdotes, though Michael was careful not to name names, just give enough clues to drive a truck through.
 
If all this leaves you feeling that you need a concierge yourself, then you can turn to Abigail Michaels, the new personal concierge company that Michael has founded.  For a mere $350 an hour, Michael will be happy to offer you the same service that Jennifer Lopez and other super-celebrities have been able to avail themselves of.  Otherwise, be sure to pick up a copy of Michael’s book and learn to do it yourself.

Guest Post by Center Volunteer, Mark Schulte:

On Friday, February 11 the main first floor room of the Center was absolutely packed for a rare screening of the 1968 documentary film “The Queen” as well as an original film called “At Least You Know You Exist” by Zachary Drucker.  ”The Queen” chronicles a drag beauty pageant which took place at Town Hall in New York City on February 20, 1967.  It still holds up, 44 years after it was filmed.  It is rarely screened.

The film depicts the contestants as they arrive in NYC from various parts of the USA, where they won preliminary contests.  The protagonist is the contest host(ess) Jack Doroshow, who is better known in the nightlife world as his drag alter ego Mother Flawless Sabrina.  The contestants are followed as they settle into their hotel rooms, practice for the contest and participate in the actual contest; we then find out what happens afterwards. 

In addition, for the first time ever, original outtakes from the after-party that were recently discovered in the University of Texas archives, were screened.  The younger audience members were screaming at this rare glimpse into our community’s pre-Stonewall history.  There was even a scene where one of the contestants, who had been denied the draft, said that he believed that there would come a day when gay people could serve openly in the military.  The applause was deafening. 
 
The screenings were followed by a panel discussion featuring Drag Historian Joe E. Jeffreys, filmmaker Zachary Drucker and Mother Flawless Sabrina in full drag.  Joe pointed out some of the elements of the film that are possibly lost on a 2011 audience.  For example, men wearing female attire was a felony at the time which resulted in common police raids.  That and other depictions were enough to get the film banned in parts of the country.  That was not the case in NYC, however, where the film had a 9-month commercial run despite being rated X. 

Jack (Sabrina) filled the audience in on a lot of the behind-the-scenes dish on the film and his own personal life of over a half century of doing drag.  He was nearly in tears by the end with all the cheering, clapping and a standing ovation.  It was clear by the end that Jack truly is “The Queen!”

The New York Times editorial page voiced strong support for marriage equality this week, calling for an end to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) which “denies married same-sex couples the federal benefits granted to other married couples, including Social Security survivor payments and the right to file joint tax returns.”

The marriage issue continues grabbing headlines across the country as more states move towards equality and others face threats from anti-gay forces trying to take marriage away from our community. The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center is at the forefront of those discussions, as we welcome a host of voices on the topic this spring.  Four upcoming events scheduled here are literally putting the topic front and “Center.” 

On February 18, as part of our “Women’s Film Series” we are hosting a screening of “Till Death Do Us Part,” the first-ever comprehensive film exploring marriage for same-sex couples. On February 22 the “Center’s Speaker’s Series” features Dr. Isaac Namdar, who was excommunicated from his synagogue after the congregation learned that he married his partner. Dr. Namdar will discuss his new book about the ordeal, “In This Day And Age.” On February 28 we tackle the issue of immigration inequality, exploring the heart wrenching challenges faced by bi-national couples who must choose between the person they love and the country they love because of a lack of federal marriage protections. And on March 10 we bring together a panel of leading experts to examine the fundamental issues surrounding marriage, including Brian Ellner, Senior Strategist for the Human Rights Campaign; Evan Wolfson, Executive Director of Freedom to Marry; and Ross Levi, Executive Director of the Empire State Pride Agenda.

Marriage inequality creates great hardships for loving and committed same-sex couples who just want the same opportunity to take care of and be responsible for one another. There are numerous ongoing court challenges to the discriminatory (DOMA) and this week’s The New York Times editorial challenged the federal government to stop defending it. “By now, such blatant discrimination should be presumed to be unconstitutional, and the Justice Department should finally say so,” wrote The Times. The Center is excited to give marriage equality a substantial platform this month and next and we welcome you to our space to learn more, find out how you can advocate on this issue and explore the best options for protecting your partner and your family.

Glennda Testone

The New York City Department of Education has designated February 14 -18 as “Respect For All Week” in all NYC public schools. As part of that effort the Youth Enrichment Services (YES) program of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center is offering special programming to engage high school students on the importance of respecting each other and raising awareness about bullying and harassment.  The (YES) Program will lead tours of the Center and highlight its role in the LGBT movement. Students will learn about the resources we provide, including leadership programming and opportunities for youth to create safer school environments.

We also invite teachers to bring their students to our monthly Safe School Network Meetings. These meetings, facilitated by our Safe Schools interns, bring together high school students from across the city to exchange ideas about school safety and learn to start Gay and Straight Alliances. The next Safe School Meeting Dates are March 11 and April 1 from 5:30 PM-7:30 PM at the Center.

Tonight, February 17, the Center is also dedicating our newest permanent art installation. Titled “First Impressions,” this mural was conceived and created by (YES) participants under the theme of equality and diversity and in partnership with the Groundswell Community Mural Project and Farrow & Ball Paint. The mural is located in our Family Services Room.  

If you are interested in learning more about our youth leadership programming and the Safe Schools Internship, please contact The Center’s Youth Enrichment Services program at 212-620-7310.

Guest Post by Center Volunteer, Nelson Freitas recapping the Center’s recent event, “Coming Out as Old,” featuring Jonathan Ned Katz and Edward Field. Katz, who celebrated his 73rd Birthday at this Center function, is an award winning historian, author, and a director of OutHistory.org.  He recently came out as a visual artist. Edward Field is an award-winning poet, biographer, memoirist, fiction writer and editor. During this gathering he read his poems about sex and being old.

In a nutshell, together Jonathan Ned Katz and Edward Field share an exciting world of aging and creativity and make us feel optimistic about our future as mature gay men.   As we age, many of us quickly recognize our time here is limited which propels us to search for new meaning and seek out a deeper appreciation for living. 

Both talked about the stigma of OLD in our community and the need to dilute that with finding, exercising and sharing a passion, whatever it might be, that keeps you vital and engaged in life.  Jonathan achieves it through his artwork while Ed via his writing and poetry.  

Image by Ector Simpson

Jonathan’s artwork, mainly homo-erotic shows an appreciation for the physicality of the male body.  It strikes a sense of humility, with individual recognition of models through inclusion of their names and signatures. His work feels surprising and spontaneous and not over-produced.  It’s authentic rawness (he described it as a homemade affect) exudes a sense of freshness and confidence. 

Ed’s writings mix satire with human insight.  He muses about things like visiting a doctor at 52 and the doctor saying whatever he is feeling is normal given his age.  He creatively talks about remaining acquainted with our bodies as we age.  In other words, embrace your body and what it has become. He also reads a poem dedicated to his partner of fifty years.  What an achievement for anyone!  It’s both touching and honest.  

In the end, for anyone wondering, there is life post fifty.  It fact, it’s promising and filled with greater confidence and freedom of expression.   Let’s all keep living.

David Kato was beaten to death in Kampala, Uganda on January 26th. The school teacher and human rights defender had been targeted for years as an out gay man in a notoriously homophobic country.  His brutal death has sparked worldwide condemnation and commemorations.  In New York, the Center joined a coalition of groups convened by the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission in a vigil at the United Nations and as signatory to a letter delivered to Uganda’s ambassador to the U.N. on February 3rd. 

Whenever tragedies like this occur  I am reminded of how important the Center is to all of us who find a haven here.   And in the midst of shock and heartache, I ask that we recommit ourselves to the notion of a safe home for all of our people.  Valiant individuals and organizations – among them the Center – toil to make the world a better place.  And we hone our principles and reinvigorate ourselves in our home. 

In honor of David Kato who had no safe home – no Center – in Kampala, I offer anew the following thought: 

Within these walls, we expect to be treated with consideration and kindness.  We expect our persons, our property, and our opinions to be respected.  We expect to be free from violence and the threat of violence.  We expect our disagreements to be resolved with sensitivity and good will. 

In return, we are expected to be considerate and kind.  To respect the persons, property, and opinions of others.  To behave nonviolently.  To display sensitivity and good will in resolving disagreements.

Within these walls, we hold ourselves to a higher standard of conduct and social interaction.  We strive to make of this place a haven free of the ills and abuses we find outside it.