Center Blog

This year marks the first anniversary of the Center’s LGBTQ Foster Care Project, a Center Families program that works to ensure New York City based foster care agencies have the tools and resources they need to treat LGBTQ children in foster care with dignity and respect, and to create an affirming and inclusive environment for LGBTQ identified birth, foster, and adoptive parents. As part of this effort, the project has formed a partnership with the New York City Administration for Children’s Services, “to provide foster care agencies with the information, training and resources needed to offer safe, high-quality and sensitive services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.” Under the new policy, “participating foster care agencies will have demonstrated efforts towards LGBTQ inclusiveness and cultural competency as outlined in ACS Best Practice and Quality Assurance Standards.” Those standards are based almost entirely on the guidelines, procedures, and best-practice recommendations from Center Families’ LGBTQ Foster Care Project.

The LGBTQ Cultural Competency Benchmarks include “ensuring that all youth, staff and parents receive notice of the ACS Non-Discrimination Policy, actively recruit potential gay affirming foster care and adoptive parents from the LGBT community and identify a staff person to serve as the LGBTQ contact person within the agency.”

Earlier this year, The Foster Care Project marked its pilot year with an orientation and recognition ceremony at the Administration for Children’s Services, where it honored five agencies for their work towards creating an affirming and inclusive environment for the LGBTQ Community. The agencies included: Harlem Dowling, Leake & Watts, Episcopal Social Services, SCO Family of Services and Abbot House. The Foster Care Project also recently welcomed three new agencies as LGBTQ inclusive, including: Mercy First, Children’s Aid Society and Little Flower.

And this week Center Families learned that Commissioner for the New York City Administration for Children’s Services John B. Mattingly, is honoring LGBTQ Foster Care Project Program Coordinator Tracey Little, with the Commissioner’s Child Advocacy Award. Little will receive the award at an April 28 ceremony at ACS. In a letter announcing the honor, the Commissioner said:

“In recognition of April as National Child Abuse Prevention Month, the New York City Administration for Children’s Services is pleased to take this opportunity to honor you with the Commissioner’s Child Advocacy Award for your outstanding contribution to keeping children safe and strengthening families.

“As part of our mission, ACS investigates reports of child abuse and neglect, provides safe homes for children in foster care and works to rehabilitate youth involved in the juvenile justice system.  We rely on skilled, caring individuals and organizations, like yourself, to achieve these goals.  Your dedication and compassion have made a difference in the lives of countless children and young people—not only this month but on every single day of the year.  We thank you for your contributions to this critical work.”

Congratulations to Center Families’ LGBTQ Foster Care Project for its positive impact on the key agency that looks out for the well-being of New York City’s children! Because of these efforts, a growing number of agencies throughout the city now have the vital resources they need to protect LGBTQ children and families!

Is it so incredible that one could be involuntarily outed and functionally excommunicated “In This Day And Age?!” Sad to say, it is not. The selfsame title of the book by Isaac Namdar, M.D. chronicles his own personal experience of this tragedy which ultimately and paradoxically created a positive movement of communication within his strict Orthodox community. After being outed against his will and publicly censured by his rabbi and expunged from the membership roster of his synagogue, Dr. Namdar opened up an internet message board for all who wished to comment to do so publicly. This medium provided a podium which ultimately touched many chords that resonated within his close knit and very orthodox community. And he compiled all of the resultant dialogue into an eminently readable book which poignantly traces one man’s movement through the conflicts of loyalty to close knit ethnic identity, spiritual identity and sexual identity. It also tells a story of an ethnic minority struggling to come to terms with itself, its culture and its religion in a pluralistic society.

Isaac Namdar and Andrew Mitchell were married in a civil ceremony on July 1, 2009 and celebrated their loving union with a party for family and friends that October. A wedding website was subsequently created to share the happy stories and photos of the wedding and honeymoon for their intimates to enjoy. Little did either suspect the furor soon to be aroused in Isaac’s Orthodox community when this website was ‘crashed’ and the contents of the website made public in January of that year. A man who sought only privacy and peace had been outed by a stranger, against his will, and his world and his family’s world was certainly never the same.

The book “In This Day And Age?!” is a compendium of the discourse among members of Dr. Namdar’s tightly interwoven religious/ethnic community, as they grappled with the issues of spirituality, identity, Jewish law and customs and the morality attached to the denial or acceptance of the individual’s right to pursue his/her own path versus the needs of a community desperately seeking cohesion. The issues brought up by the many respondents on the message board Dr Namdar maintained as a forum are diverse, fascinating and show a genuine striving to come to terms with homosexuality as organic to their population and not some phenomena infiltrating from the outside.
Throughout it all, Dr. Namdar behaves with ultimate equanimity, reasonableness and an honorable willingness to engage in dialogue without compromising himself or his commitments. As he states, his goal in establishing a discussion board was to educate as many people as possible about equity and tolerance and, by the overall tenor of his account, he succeeded (of course, bigots on the fringes will exist within any religious or social group).

Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum, spiritual leader of Congregation Beit Simchat Torah for nearly two decades, was the introductory speaker of the evening and moderator of the lively, open discussion that followed Dr. Namdar’s forthright presentation of his work. Renowned for her humanitarian outlook and unwillingness to back down in the face of controversy, Rabbi Kleinbaum’s presence gave evidence of New York’s Gay and Jewish work for dignity, equality and human rights for all.
CBST, not incidentally, is the largest LGBT synagogue in the world, and zealously pursues social action on all gay-related issues, including youth homelessness, health, aging and marriage equality as well as sponsoring an active transgender coalition. The synagogue’s “Strength Through Community” features guest videos by noteworthy members of the gay Jewish world who speak out against hate and bullying as well as directly addressing the epidemic of gay teen suicides.

Dr. Namdar’s book is available at amazon.com and makes for a lively and provocative read.

Written by Spencer Shear

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center, the East Coast’s largest LGBT center, today announced the appointment of Carrie Davis, MSW, as Director of the Center’s new Community Services Department.

Ms. Davis is a social worker and takes on this role after leading the Center’s Adult Services Department for the past four years. Having first joined the Center in 1998, her new role will encompass a wide array of programs and administrative functions.  The transition combines existing social service areas under the one umbrella of the Community Services Department that includes health, youth and families.

These vital programs provide lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) people with community support to foster healthy identity and family development, including integrated substance abuse, mental health, HIV and AIDS, smoking cessation, and lesbian cancer and immigration services through the delivery of a range of supportive interventions, advocacy, outreach, education and capacity-building.

“We’re thrilled to have Carrie Davis heading up our new Community Services Department,” said Executive Director Glennda Testone.  “Carrie’s proven dedication to bettering the lives of our community through our vast health, youth and family programs is unparalleled. Under her steady program leadership and direction we are poised to significantly grow our capacity to serve LGBTQ people throughout the next decade.”

The new Community Services department improves participant services through freer internal transfers of talents and resources, and expands program reach and infrastructure to better serve clients. The department also provides new services designed to address the needs of underserved or “gap” populations and enhances our focus on the Center’s mission and strategic plan. At the same time, Community Services will cut operating costs and increase our fiscal responsibility through streamlining administrative functions.

Carrie Davis is also a community organizer, advocate and educator, working with health care providers, schools and government agencies to address LGBT identity, legal, health care and social concerns at the national, state and local levels. In addition to her work at the Center she currently serves on the New York City Police Department LGBT Advisory Committee, the All Gender Health Online Research Project Advisory Board, and has previously served on the board of directors of the Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP), the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE), the New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy (NYAGRA) and GenderPAC, as well as the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) Board of Advisors. Carrie is also an Adjunct Lecturer at the Hunter College School of Social Work.

For more information on the programs offered by our Community Services Department visit these pages on our website:

Health

Youth

Families

It may be bitterly cold outside these days but you can escape the frigid temperatures inside the warm and welcoming walls of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center. Our Center Families Program is beating the winter blues with a RAINBOW BEACH PARTY on Saturday, January 22, from 2 to 4 PM. We invite LGBTQ parents and their kids to stop by for games, snacks and arts and crafts. It’s part of our ongoing Family Play Days gatherings that give LGBTQ parents and their children a safe arena to socialize and have fun in a friendly positive and affirming environment. At Center Families you don’t have to hide who you are. LGBTQ families are celebrated here and treated with dignity and respect.

Whether you have an infant, toddler or teenager, there’s a space for you here. We have a roped off baby proof section for parents who want some quiet time with their newborns. But we also have a host of activities for the older kids and larger areas where they can jump around and play.

And while their kids are having fun we provide adults with vital information from legal experts, fertility specialists and wellness professionals. They give advice on how to protect your family and ensure you have the resources you need in an often anti-LGBTQ world, where many laws are outdated when it comes to our community. This is a great opportunity for our community partners to meet families wherever they are on their journey.

On January 31 from 6:30 to 9 PM we also invite you to our Center Families Open House, a celebration of the many different ways that we create and experience family. All members of our expanding community can learn more about the Center Families Program, meet others on a similar path and check out our fantastic new space while sharing ideas for future Center Families programming. We invite and welcome feedback on how we can continue to improve our offerings. We want your ideas! At the end of the Open House we’ll also be kicking off our community advisory meetings which will happen twice a month.

This Center Families Program gives LGBTQ parents and their children the chance to experience a community that does not judge them for who they are. They don’t have to come in with an underlying feeling that they have to hide themselves. You can be here as you are, enjoy each other’s company and learn from each other. Hope to see you at these upcoming events!

For me, it was the birth certificate; there it was, in black and white (well, black and light blue): my wife of 3 years as the Mother, and me as Father/Parent, with sex “F”. Myself being genderqueer, the need for my sex on the birth certificate of my child was problematic, but there was something undeniably vindicating about opening that envelope. Here our marriage is only recognized in a few states, and even here in New York, only recognized in some institutions, but we didn’t have to go through any special applications or appear in court to have this document issued correctly.

I think for all member of the LGBTQ community, there are shining moments they didn’t think were possible, last year, five years ago, or half a lifetime ago. I didn’t think the birth certificate was going to be one of those moments for me, but when it was in my hand, with an embossed seal and thick paper, it became something of which I was very proud.

Our journey into parenting was, in many ways, not very notable: We decided we wanted children (me deciding several painstakingly long years after my wife, if you ask her), we did some research, and we started trying. A few roller-coaster months later, we had the greatest news of our lives. Then the baby came, and ever since, we’ve been doing laundry. But that story leaves out the interesting parts: the research included looking for a sperm donor that I felt most closely resembled a male-bodied version of myself, and then working through the disappointment that I couldn’t be the sperm donor myself; we spent hours carefully telling family members, “We’re going to have a baby, so Kai will be a Papa!” to set our expectations for language; and perhaps most memorably, we had to carry a cryogenic tank across town, pick up sperm, and walk a mile home with a container emblazoned with “Caution: Bio Hazard” through the streets of New York.

At the beginning of this journey, I attended the first meeting of the Center Families Transgender and Genderqueer Parents and Prospective Parents group. I am a co-facilitator at the group, so I am helplessly biased in this respect, but I have had many wonderful conversations receiving support from others in all stages of parenting, giving advice on issues we’ve worked through, and sharing stories of joy and sadness. The group is as diverse as its members – discussions happen organically with someone sharing a thought, or telling a story. Perennial favorite discussion topics include family acceptance and education, parenting through foster care and adoption, what our children will call us, pregnancy in a transgender or genderqueer body, and navigating social situations and the questions of our own children.

Everyone with any interest or experience in parenting is welcomed warmly – there are babies and toddlers at the meetings, pregnant folks, parents of older children, and those thinking of parenting somewhere down the line. The group meets at the LGBT Center monthly on a Sunday late in the month – for November we’re meeting this Sunday, November 21st from 12:30 to 2pm. In January and onward, we meet on the 4th Sunday of the month, from 12:30 to 2pm.

Please come, share your story, ask questions, and join the discussion!

Kai Johnson
Co-facilitator of the Center Families Transgender and Genderqueer Parents and Prospective Parents group.
For any further questions, or to be added to the mailing list, contact ksjohnson3@gmail.com

Greetings, and welcome to our Monthly Center Families Blog!

This month, we have a Very Special Guest Blogger with us, Randi Reed! Randi is a Birth Doula in New York City and is a Center Families Partner. Randi, in collaboration with her friend and business partner Chloe Campbell, frequently present at two of our Center Families Support Groups: Planning Biological Parenthood for Women and Pregnancy Support & Networking.

Planning Biological Parenthood for Women is a group for women considering, preparing for, or currently in the process of conceiving through alternative insemination.

Pregnancy Support and Networking is a support and networking group for pregnant parents-to-be wanting to connect and share their experiences and resources with others.

On Tuesday, November 9th at 6:30pm, Center Families presents its first Pregnancy Support and Networking Night Out! Please join Center Families for an evening of supportive networking, and education for pregnant parents-to-be, surrogates, and those closest to them. Enjoy “mocktails” & “momtinis” along with music, fellowship and fun! There will be an informative presentation by our Center Families Partners Randi Reed and Chloe Campbell, who will discuss their roles as Birth Doula’s, and provide some highly requested information on topics such as breastfeeding, bonding with your newborn, self-care, and planning the birth that is right for you!

We are extremely excited to have the help, support and wealth of information that Randi and Chloe bring to the table. With that said, here is a message from Randi:
Welcoming a baby into your life is a decision in our community that takes a lot of thought and planning. One turns a corner and there might be another obstacle or challenge or an unknown fact staring at you in the face! Our LGBTQ community is not faint of heart and can rise above a challenge, but at times we need a little help, guidance, and love. Thankfully The Center has a number of great programs to help guide hopeful parents along.

That is where I come in. My name is Randi Reed and I co-founded Brown Owl Doulas with my business partner and friend Chloe Campbell. I have been in NYC for about 4 years and The Center has been with me the whole time. I have volunteered at numerous functions including Center Family picnics, Bingo Night, Lesbian Cinema Arts, Garden Party, and Woman’s Events. Needless to say I love The Center. As I started to pursue more things in life, being a doula has been a surprising passion. One year ago I started my training with DONA International which is where I met my friend and business partner Chloe Campbell. We have trained with the same instructors and found our passion and doula styles fit perfectly together. And since I work a lot with The Center, I was asked to come in and facilitate a pregnancy support meeting in June. I loved it so much I came back and Chloe and I just held our first Breast Feeding 101 workshop for the Pregnancy Support Group. There we talked about the basics of breast feeding and what a new mom should know before baby comes. We even discussed the possibility for two moms being able to breast feed which is a unique opportunity for some lesbian couples having babies in our community!
If you have never heard the word doula before you are not alone. What is a doula?
The word “doula” comes from the ancient Greek meaning “a woman who serves” and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during, and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period.

Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier and they breastfeed more easily.

A Birth Doula

1. Recognizes birth as a key experience the mother will remember all her life
2. Understands the physiology of birth and the emotional needs of a woman in labor
3. Assists the woman in preparing for and carrying out her plans for birth
4. Stays with the woman throughout the labor
5. Provides emotional support, physical comfort measures and an objective viewpoint, as well as helping the woman get the information she needs to make informed decision
6. Facilitates communication between the laboring woman, her partner and her clinical care providers
7. Perceives her role as nurturing and protecting the woman’s memory of the birth experience
8. Allows the woman’s partner to participate at his/her comfort level

Being a doula is such a rewarding and amazing job! We love it. And we understand what a crazy world pregnancy, birth, and postpartum can be. Myself and Chloe are very excited to speak with the community more and help you with whatever questions you have. Not only do we have knowledge about labor and birth but we also have the resources to help you achieve your desires and answer your questions about pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum and more. Did I mention I am a nanny of 4 and Chloe has a 3 year old! We are always available for your questions or concerns. You can contact us at randiandchloe@gmail.com

See you November 9th from 6:30pm-9pm!! PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!

Please contact Shanequa Anderson at 212 620 7310 ext 473 or sanderson@gaycenter.org for further information.

We are thrilled to celebrate the historic federal court ruling overturning California’s Proposition 8 as unconstitutional. We still have a long way to go in the battle for true marriage equality, but the significance of this federal ruling is encouraging. Perry v. Schwarzenegger is an ambitious legal strategy to challenge the federal government to treat our families equally.

The fight in California is far from over, and the battle in New York is still underway, but we must not lose sight of this momentous occasion.
Never before has a federal court declared so clearly that marriage discrimination is irrational and unconstitutional.

Judge Walker’s decision cites both the Due Process and Equal Protection clauses from the 14th Amendment as the reasons why Proposition 8 is unconstitutional. This is an important moment for our community as a federal court has cited the constitution as a protection of our relationships. But Judge Walker does not stop there. He probes in depth the facts that the supporters of Proposition 8 attempted to use to strip LGBT people of the basic right to marry. To his credit, Judge Walker systematically proves how absurd and unfounded those purported facts are establishing in a critical legal opinion the unassailable, constitutional rights of the LGBT community. His decision rests on the lack of any rational basis for California to have a law banning same-sex marriage.

We at the Center work for a day where LGBT New Yorkers can enjoy the same rights and protections as our straight counterparts. This ruling helps set the stage for future victories. As this fight continues, there will be ups and downs for our movement, but it is important to celebrate as a community when we have a victory such as this!

Please accept our sincere congratulations to the LGBT people and our allies who helped make equality more of a reality for all couples and families.

Glennda Testone

Consider me inspired! I’ve seen the New York City Pride Parade many times, but I’ve never marched. This year, I was fortunate to march with the Center and be in the thick of it. All of my questions were answered and I was completely won over by our community’s collective commitment to the LGBT movement. The sheer beauty, resilience and vibrant diversity of our community filled me with pride and deep appreciation. Along the march, I met young people who never stopped dancing, parents pushing strollers and never running out of patience, HIV+ activists, LGBT immigrants celebrating pride for the first time, transgender participants, friends, colleagues and family. I want to thank the Center staff and board members, interns and volunteers who shared their pride with me and with our entire community. My friend and mentor, Joan Garry, made this video that will give you a snapshot of the glorious day. Enjoy! And thank you, Joan.

Click here to read more about the parade.

Update, April 5th

Today, April 5th, The Census Bureau had its first-ever official unveiling of PSAs for the LGBT Community at our Center. If you missed the unveiling, you can watch this video below.

You may have noticed 2010 Census promotion material everywhere around New York City; on phone booths, buses, public spaces, in newspapers and on television. It is important to our city that everyone fills out the Census so that New York City gets its fair share of funding from the federal government to improve schools, healthcare, fight crime, repair roads, and support other critical city services for all New Yorkers. The 2010 Census matters to everyone, but particularly the LGBT community. Dr. Gary Gates of the Williams explains that “Americans have many misconceptions about the LGBT community that Census data have allowed us to correct. For example, among those in same-sex couples: one in six lives in a rural area, one in four is a person of color, one in five is raising children (two in five among people of color).”

At the Center, 300,000 people visit us a year. The Center uses government funding to provide life-saving services to the LGBT population in New York. Through government funding from federal, state and city sources we are able to provide substance abuse treatment to LGBT New Yorker’s, a safe space for LGBT youth in need as well as a host of other programming.

Currently the census has set up a booth at the Center to assist our community fill out the forms. We applaud that effort to make sure our community is included. However, the census doesn’t track LGBT identity as part of what they collect, and we feel it is incredibly important that they start. We invite you to view this great video from New York City’s TV25 for information about why it is important and specifically why it important to the Center.

Glennda Testone

When you walk through the doors OF THE LGBT CENTER as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning person, you will find a safe space, acceptance and support Every week in fact, 6,000 people come through those doors, THAT’S 300,000 VISITS PER YEAR. PEOPLE come looking for information, resources and community. For some, walking through our doors is the first time they feel safe and supported. Our goal is to make sure it’s not the last. To make sure that wherever they are in New York City, that they have rights and protections that are equal to their straight counterparts. That’s why I am so excited to host this stakeholder meeting with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development to discuss the First-Ever Study of Housing Discrimination Again LGBT Members in Rental and Sale of Housing.

We see the Center as a beacon of inclusion and acceptance for a broader society, but we can’t do it alone, and so we are so thrilled to be partnering with New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, Senators Charles Shumer and Kirsten Gillibrand, Congressman Jerold Nadler, and Council Members Rosie Mendez, Danny Dromm, Jimmy Van Bramer and Erik Martin Dilan to bring you this forum. I wish I could say that they was no problem, that LGBT people had as much access to housing as everyone else in this city, but I sit on the Mayor’s commission for LGBT Homeless and Runaway Youth, and I have heard the struggles of our young people AS THEY make their way in this city and TRY TO get their basic needs met. I have a dear friend, who is a butch lesbian who just last week told me about the second apartment she and her flamboyantly, fabulously gay friend lost because the landlord “did not want to rent to gay people,” so said the broker. It made me really sad to know that even in New York City, our community faces these challenges, and it made me really proud to work at the LGBT Center where at least for a little while everyday, we can provide a home for our community.

Glennda Testone