Center Blog

Photo by Simon Shimshilashvili

Guest Post by Paul Reed

On Tuesday, March 20^th, The LGBT Center hosted the premiere installment of their new intergenerational “live talk show” series,  Q & Gay: Sex from the 70’s to Scruff.  I arrived quite early to notice that many of the seats were already full of people of many ages, proving that sex does indeed sell. During the opening cocktail reception, I also felt a strong sense of jubilation and reunion in the air, witnessing several long lost friends reconnecting all around me.

Ashley Brockington, a striking and statuesque theatre professional, proved to be a highly engaging facilitator, beginning the session by introducing the audience to the four members of the panel. Ashley first introduced Johnny Skandros, the co-founder of Scruff, a gay social smartphone app, and thus one of the most important people in the modern age of gay digital media. Next up was Joseph Lovett (Joe), producer of the celebrated film, Gay Sex in the 70’s. Following Joe, we met Rob Zukowski, talented photographer and in my opinion, the most delightfully salacious panelist. Rounding up the panel was Francis Sheehan (Frank), an influential New York artist originally from Ireland.

Photo by Simon Shimshilashvili

After establishing the house rules for the discussion, Ashley asked the panel a series of 25 questions all within the framework of gay sex from the 70’s until the current time. Questions, and thus answers, ran the gamut from the comical, (Question #5) “What’s the most embarrassing place you’ve ever woken up?”, to the reflective, (Question #7) “Where were you when you first heard of AIDS?”, and to the educational, (Question #2) “How do you define safe sex?” It wasn’t long into the discussion before the theme of age began to show its influences on the different perspectives within the panel.

One of the best questions that displayed this overreaching theme of age was (Question #3) “Describe yourself at twenty-one.” Joe’s long-time friend told him that in 1966 he was “desperate.” Frank reminisced about his times at The LGBT Center of Dublin in 1978. Johnny, the youngest member of the panel by far, reflected that in 2004 he was naïve and fed into gay stereotypes. Rob gave the fascinating picture of the West Village in 1988 as a colony of AIDS “lepers” trapped within the fabulous illusion the neighborhood tried to uphold. These answers provided a window to explore how the interactions of place and time create our self-identity of what it means to be a gay man.

A question that evoked much discussion was (Question #10) “How has technology changed the sex scene?” The audience had the privilege of hearing this question answered first by Johnny, the co-founder of Scruff, a mobile application utilizing GPS allowing one to view other gay men globally and to physically meet gay men within the immediate area. Johnny bypassed the seemingly obvious answer, which is that the application allows for more frequent and easier hook-ups, and dove more into the other benefits of his application. According to him, Scruff also is a way for gay men without a visible gay community to connect with other gay men, lessening the oppressive isolation that is the reality for many outside of metropolitan cities.

Scruff also is a venue to spread education and awareness about safer sex practices and important LGBTQ causes. Joe took the question in a different direction, speaking about how technology affects his relationship with his partner in negative ways. Technology’s ability to keep one connected to work can become a stressor and invasive to personal space. Rob had an incredibly insightful answer, speculating that technology has allowed rejection to become more prevalent, sometimes based on one’s race or perceived masculinity.

Hello Riders, Crew and Friends:

We are so excited about the upcoming Ride, and in fact, this annual event has been raising critical funds for the Center’s HIV/AIDS related programs and services for 18 years, all the way back to 1995! There are many things in the works, but I wanted to countdown the Top 5…

5. Registration

Our registration and fundraising pages are up and running for both individuals and teams. This Boston to New York cycling journey is set for September 21-23. If you aren’t already one of the fast-growing number of people to register, please do so here. 

4. Party Time

We are putting together a celebratory kick-off event at the Center on Monday, April 16th from 6:30 – 8:30 PM. It will be an opportunity to meet fellow riders and crew, sign up, introduce new friends, potential riders and donors to the Center, and bid for fantastic raffle items including a free massage, gift cards, and tickets to upcoming Center events. An official RSVP invitation will be out soon, but in the meantime please save the date!

3. Fundraising

The ride has already received many pledges, and our website is ready and waiting for you. A special shout out to an amazing (and new) rider named Anthony, who already brought in the most number of donors so far. Go Anthony! He’ll join our kick-off celebration on April 16th (and P.S., is the masseur behind the raffle item!) Come meet Anthony and schedule your appointment.

2. Producer

After a great deal of research, due diligence and thoughtful consideration, we are thrilled to announce the selection of LeadDog Marketing Group, Inc. as our 2012 Ride producer. An event production and marketing agency headquartered in New York, LeadDog has a passion for, and extensive experience in, logistical support and production for run, walk, and bike events across the country. LeadDog excels in creating and executing unique events that advance causes, delivering impeccable support and an inspiring experience to each participant. They maintain multi-year relationships with Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, Multiple Sclerosis Society, American Cancer Society, and Wildlife Conservation Society, among others. Come meet some of the LeadDog team who will be working on our Ride at the April 16th kick-off event – they are excited to meet you!

1. You

Speaking of you, I can’t thank you enough for all you do to support our life-saving and life-enhancing HIV/AIDS programs. Your efforts truly change lives: “Dan” is an immigrant who came to the Center on the brink of suicide after his health began deteriorating as a result of his HIV positive status. Center counselors gave him the emotional and mental help to cope with the difficulties of being an undocumented immigrant and HIV positive. Through the community of resources and support the Center is able to provide, Dan not only found personal stability, he is thriving! On behalf of the Center staff, and all of the clients like Dan we serve each and every day, thank you!

As always, if you have any questions feel free to contact me or Jose at 212.620.7310, and I look forward to seeing all of you on the 16th!

Your fellow rider,

Glennda Testone

Guest Post by Client who participates in the Center’s Skills For Emotional Health Group

Skills For Emotional Health is an all-gender interactive support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender-identified people to discuss personal emotional challenges and to develop skills for managing these issues. Challenges include experiences of anxiety, depression, excessive self-criticism, recurring distressing thoughts, and other mental health concerns. Members are encouraged to share successful coping strategies, develop non-judgmental self-acceptance, and strengthen support networks.

For many emotionally challenged LGBT people there is a belief that there is no “safe haven.” Fears, depression and anxiety rule our lives and we wonder if we will ever be able to relate to others.

Far too many of us are seeing professionals, but the sensation of being isolated, alone and owning our depression and negative feelings about ourselves, as if we deserve this self-loathing. Outside sources such as family and religion, are more often than not, major contributors to our negative self-image and it seems there is nowhere to turn.

We have been programmed into a mind-set that “our kind” are freaks and have been punished by factors at home, in society, or both. We have often been brain-washed into self-hatred by parents or siblings,  peers, religion, and society at large, or combinations of all of these factors.

The Center group “Skills For Emotional Health” offers an unique alternative to such negativity. This is not a replacement for one-on-one therapy, but it is a positive group environment, where we can express our deepest feelings that prevent us from being the person we wish to be. It is a place where we can voice and/or vent our frustrations, fears, anxiety and self-loathing in a warm, supportive and self-affirming atmosphere.

There are no quick cures, but we are all on a journey of self-discovery and hope. Nothing good comes easily or fast, but here, we can be ourselves with others of similar experience and begin the healing process in a guided and supervised setting. No judgments, no criticism, no harsh words; only our peers, all going through this process together and for many, for the very first time ever.

Those who participate in this group learn that we can understand and face our own demons, and we can begin to defuse and disarm those gremlins of the past that still hold sway over us and eventually send them packing. There are no guarantees in life, but group therapy is one way we can find support and insights into this long, dark tunnel, towards that glimmer of hope and light up ahead.

The Center has spent nearly three decades looking out for the health and well being of LGBT people.  This week we, and dozens of organizations across the nation, celebrate the 10^th Annual National LGBT Health Awareness Week.

Spearheaded by the National Coalition for LGBT Health, the theme of the 2012 campaign is “Come Out for Health,” and described as a call to action for community members, advocates, service providers, and governmental officials to recognize health and wellness as an essential part of the social justice movement for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals, families and the wider community.

The Coalition is committed to improving the health and well being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals through federal advocacy that is focused on research, policy, education, and training.  The LGBT community includes individuals of every sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, race, ethnicity, and age; regardless of disability, income, education, and geography. Members are dedicated to effecting change by uniting this rich diversity at the national level.

Here at the Center the Community Services Department is incorporating LGBT health awareness themes into a number of our groups in the wellness, recovery, youth, and family program areas. Members of our staff also testified in favor of strong LGBT cultural competency training in New York City public hospitals, at a recent joint NYC City Council hearing by the Committee on Civil Rights and Committee on Health.

According to the National Coalition for LGBT Health:

LGBT people face numerous barriers in access to health care services. These barriers include lower rates of access to health insurance and fear of discrimination by providers who lack an understanding of LGBT health concerns.

According to a recent national survey conducted by Harris Interactive®, nearly one in four gay and lesbian adults lack health insurance and rates of uninsurance are even higher for bisexual and transgender people. These lower rates of health insurance coverage result from factors that affect many LGBT people and include poverty, unemployment, and job discrimination. Moreover, most employers do not extend health insurance benefits to the family members of LGBT employees, and practices that limit or deny access to coverage on the basis of pre-existing conditions also contribute to low rates of insurance.

Beyond the difficulty of accessing coverage, barriers persist in many health care settings. Health care providers may be insensitive to LGBT health concerns and are often not trained to communicate with LGBT patients. Fear of harassment or concerns about privacy also often lead LGBT people to withhold personal information from their providers. This can include vital information such as sexual orientation, gender identity, prescription medication use, sexual behavior, substance use, and relationship concerns such as domestic violence.

These disparities in access result in worse health for the LGBT community in comparison to the general population. LGBT people often experience increased health risks, such as substance use and violence, as well as higher rates of conditions such as cancer, mental health concerns, and sexually transmitted infections. Without timely access to vital health care, these disparities can be deadly.

What can you do?

*Share your stories with providers and policy makers about the importance of health and access to health care for the LGBT community.

*Share the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association guidelines with your health care providers and help them create a safe and welcoming environment for the LGBT community.

*Community health centers & other health facilities can participate in HRC’s Healthcare Equality Index.

*Urge providers to become familiar with guidelines for LGBT cultural competence.

Learn more:

Gay and Lesbian Medical Association: www.glma.org

CenterLink: The Community of LGBT Centers: www.lgbtcenters.org

WWW.LGBTHEALTH.NET

Look for more blogs about LGBT Health Awareness Week throughout the next several days.

As we approach our 18th year riding to fight HIV and AIDS, we know this year will surpass all others. Over the past nine years, our riders have traversed the east coast, whether north from Pennsylvania or south from Boston, rain or shine, all in an effort to raise vital funds for the Center’s diverse HIV/AIDS related services and programming. We are immensely grateful for their support and participation all along the way.

As we embark on our 2012 Ride, change is in the air. We are in the selection process for a new producer, and getting on with the business of recruiting riders and crew for our 2012 event. The Center’s Ride will go on, with exciting opportunities on the horizon – a new name, new ideas and new perspectives, improved fundraising and training support, and the chance to enhance and strengthen the overall experience for everyone. We want each and every one of you to come on this journey with us, and we know it’s going to be an amazing ride!

Our clients are our number one priority and we must continue providing HIV/AIDS related programs and services at an even greater capacity. This announcement comes at a time of great urgency for the Center. Public funding for HIV/AIDS has fallen drastically and the vast need for our programming continues to climb. Improving the Center’s AIDS Ride is a vital first step to ensuring we have enough resources to sustain and enhance the programs and services we provide to the people who need us most.

The name of the Ride may be changing, but our commitment to ending HIV/AIDS will never change. The people involved with this Ride over the last 17-years are our extended family and we take that very seriously. We are committed to making this year’s Ride and all future rides as magical as always.

The Center’s AIDS Ride is set for September 21- 23, 2012. You can sign up for the Ride on our website, and please join us on Monday, April 16th for our 2012 Ride Kick-off Party at the Center!

And, don’t forget to mark your calendar for Boston to New York, September 21-23, 2012!

Glennda Testone

Guest Post by Rob Zukowski

If you have ever tried to quit smoking, or had a friend or loved one who has taken on the task of giving up smoking, you know that it is not an easy undertaking. Having been a smoker for many years, and having gone through the trials and tribulations of quitting, only to return to smoking and struggle to quit again, I can attest to difficulty of reaching the goal of being smoke free.

The good news is that help was available to me. What’s better? It’s available to YOU! There are a plethora of quality services available to you. You can make phone calls to quit lines for information and you can sign up for a variety of web based services, but for LGBT and allied individuals there is another option in Manhattan’s West Village.

The LGBT SmokeFree Project, a program of the Community Services department of The Center, offers workshops and classes specifically designed to provide the support, tools and information you need to flick that very last cigarette to the curb and walk away happier, healthier and free of the financial impact that goes hand in hand with the habit.

Since 1993, The LGBT SmokeFree Project at the Center has been dedicated to helping members of the community quit smoking for good. It’s more than just another pamphlet with the same old Q&A you’ve seen before. It’s more than just a lecture. What you encounter at these classes are people like you; LGBT and allied people with the drive and desire to quit smoking and stay quit. And the best part of all, is that these people are there to share their experiences and learn from yours; it’s an exercise in giving and receiving the support smokers need to take on the task. You become a part of a collective unit of “quitters”. I can say, without question or reservation, that I have been both moved and inspired by the accomplishments, struggles and successes of those in my group.

It all begins with Not Quite Ready to Quit. This 3-hour workshop focuses on understanding nicotine addiction, increasing motivation, and eliminating roadblocks to making the decision to quit. Once you have completed the workshop, it is on to the next program – Commit to Quit. The 6-week Commit to Quit group helps you develop a quit plan, build a support system, and effectively handle relapse pressure and stay quit. One session of Not Quite Ready to Quit is required to start the 6-week program.

Adam Steiner, the SmokeFree Project counselor, knows firsthand what quitting smoking is like. Adam’s passion for helping people become smoke free isn’t only professional, it’s personal. He is currently in his 10^th year of living smoke free and it shows in his compassion. In a recent article, he said, “I took my first puff of a cigarette at age 8. I kept smoking until I was 40 years old. Luckily, I found the strength to quit. Now I spend my days helping others quit.” He goes on to say, “In addition to helping people develop a quit plan, build a support system, and effectively handle relapse pressure once they have quit smoking, the Center also works with The Manhattan Smoke – Free Partnership as a part of the New York City Coalition for a smoke free city.” Adam is a leader for smoke free people of all ages. He, along with Youth Organizers Against Tobacco Advertisement interns, advocate against tobacco marketing that targets young people. Adam is a dedicated counselor with the kind of insight and experience to help you nip your cigarette addiction in the “butt”. Pun intended.

As someone who has attended both the initial workshop and the 6-week program, I would urge you to do so. The experience, in my opinion, goes above and beyond the smoking cessation programs I have tried before. Not only did I find the content unique and being surrounded by other LGBT folks who understand the world I live in to be an extra push, but the camaraderie among group participants was an essential tool.

Imagine what it must be like to wake up on your quit day to find supportive texts or emails from the members of your group. Think about how empowering it can be to have someone reach out to you for support should that moment come when they want to reach for a cigarette.

I know what you are thinking, “does it work?” With your hard work and determination it does. Here are some follow up statements from past group participants.

“It is funny that I just received the email of the center talking about the commit to quit seminar. I quit smoking at The Center five years ago and i always send people to this smoking cessation program.”

“Yesterday, I sent a letter to the board of Directors of the Center and I mentioned this great achievement with the help of you guys. Thank you for doing this great job.”

“If you ever need someone that quit with this program to come and talk to the people in the program let me know.”

“I quit smoking in December of 2003. The ONLY reason I was successful THIS TIME, was because of your group.”

“It was non-judgmental – t was done with patience and gentleness. But I have never not smoked for a period of eight years.”

“Thank you all so much for the best program to try and get us to not smoke.”

“Finding out that there was a program available at the center, with other members of the LGBT community was the best thing for me.”

“To have a safe, welcoming environment with professional support staff and leadership, and be among peers was PRICELESS.”

“Because of the center care smoke free program and stern but gentle approach of my counselor, I was ready to take the leap, and free myself. I had the right coping skills (including nicotine patches and proper guidance) and found the whole experience a huge self esteem booster and overwhelming sense of pride.”

“The whole process has changed my opinion on what I would consider a “life-long” habit and for me, choosing smoking will never be that crutch again. This past October, 2011 marked 2 years since I have quit smoking, an accomplishment that after 14 years with the addiction I never thought I would say. I can’t endorse the program enough.”

For more information about upcoming Not Quite Ready to Quit and Commit to Quit Programs, Click Here

Center Youth Visit State Lawmakers in Albany

Center Youth Organizing (YO!) interns joined 50 other advocates in late January; they embarked on a bus trip to Albany with a mission of educating state legislators about the importance of tobacco prevention programs.

This yearly event is coordinated by the New York City Smoke Free Coalition and includes young voices from throughout New York City who meet with a host of state assembly members and senators to inform them about the need to keep robust funding for tobacco prevention programs and explain why the initiatives are so important.

The coalition’s local efforts have helped contribute to a significant reduction in New York City smoking rates; NYC has the lowest smoking rates in the nation. Unfortunately tobacco companies continue to bombard young people with advertising at local convenience stores near their schools.

Center Youth Visit Lawmakers in Albany

Center youth speak out regularly about this alarming trend at community board meetings and other forums and push for measures that would limit these manipulative and harmful campaigns which have resulted in alarming statistics: 59 percent of self-identified LGBT teenagers in NYC report using tobacco, compared to 35 percent of self-identified straight teens. State legislators were very receptive to the youth tobacco prevention message and agreed to make this a priority when looking at overall state funding.

Center Youth Visit Lawmakers in Albany

Brian Smith, the Center’s Youth Services Community Organizing Specialist said trips like this one show young people that their educational efforts truly matter:

“It’s great to see the young people take all that they’ve learned inside the walls of the Center and put it into practice in the world. They realize, ‘I can make a difference and my voice does count,’” Smith said.

Guest Post by VC August on behalf of the American Cancer Society’s Diversity Initiative; ACS is a friend of the Center’s Lesbian Cancer Initiative

You don’t usually think of a party and cancer in the same sentence. But the American Cancer Diversity Initiative is fighting the prevalence of cancer, as well  as the reluctance toward early screening for cancer, in the LGBT community in a variety of ways. One way is with the upcoming February 13^th Encore for Hope Bash.  “Our view is to raise money for the ACS diversity initiative – and all the important work we are doing — and have a great time while we’re doing it,” says Erica Blum, Manager, Distinguished events. 

The American Cancer Society is full of ideas for helping the LGBT community. Myrna Duarte and Erica Blum, both tireless advocates of the American Cancer Society (ACS) Diversity Initiative, are working hard to minimize the spread of cancer in the LGBT community.  These initiatives will be celebrated (and supported) at this pre-Valentine’s day party at Club 57, Providence NYC, 311 West 57^th Street, 6:30-10:30 PM.

The Encore for Hope Event will be fun filled with cocktails, and hors d’oeuvres flowing, while supporters take in stellar performances donated in support of the American Cancer Society’s efforts within the LGBT Community. Comedienne Judy Gold will be the emcee and Joey Aries, singer, comedian, performance artist and drag queen will be a starring act. Other notable celebrities and entertainers are The New York City  Gay Men’s Chorus, The Ben Allison Band, Sherry Vine, 2 To Fly Aerial, Manila Luzon, Sahara Davenport and celebrity DJ Choimatic.         

Lung cancer turns out to be one of the high risk cancers for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. “The smoking statistics for the LGBT population are staggering,” explains Myna Duarte, Director of Diversity Initiatives for ACS. LGBT youth have tobacco use rates as high as 59% vs 35% of non LGBT teens. “It is critical that we get to the teens before they become lifelong smokers,” says Duarte.

The American Cancer Society has launched QuitBuddy-a texting tool to help smokers kick the habit. Smokers who feel the need to light up simply send a text to their QuitBuddy and receive a text back with a tip to help them fight the urge to smoke. “Our hope is that together with our partners, we can get this tool out to the community and help lower those statistics. We need to communicate the same way the teens do. By text.” You can sign up here. 

Another challenge for the ACS diversity team is stressing the importance of early detection and screening to the LGBT community. Duarte explains, “ Lesbian and bisexual women often do not have health insurance that covers unmarried partners. Another issue is that gay and bisexual women fear discrimination and insensitivity by healthcare providers.”  With lower screening rates, cancer is often detected at later stages when it is much more difficult to treat. A common misconception by gay women and often their physicians, is the that Human Papillomavirus, HPV, which is one of the causes of cervical cancer, is not a necessary screening test for gay women.  HPV can be spread from woman to woman just as with heterosexual contact.

Many gay  and bisexual men have the same fear of discrimination as lesbians and bisexual women, and therefore they also tend not to seek consistent screening.

Transgender people have the highest incidence of lack of insurance, and therefore screening. The New York City department of health reported in a study done in 1999 that 21% of transgender people had no health insurance of any kind. To make things worse for this population, health insurance does not cover appropriate cancer screening. Transgender people have a high rate of an array of cancers — from Lung to liver cancer. The risk becomes even higher if HIV is in the mix.

American Cancer Society’s mission aims to ensure that nobody is left behind. They offer everything from survivors helping other survivors, treatment transportation funding, wig programs and more. All of these offerings are available to the LGBT community and you can learn more about it at the event, while having a great time. Don’t miss this important way to support the community and give greater meaning to the word “love” this Valentine’s Day.

VC August is the Author of The Healing Hour, a book “about love, hope and healing the heart, soul, and spirit when faced with life-changing struggles,” including Cancer.

This blog is crosss posted with permission from It’s Conceivable

Guest Post By Diana Adams, Esq, Attorney and Mediator

Adams is a trusted Center partner and supporter of our Center Families Program.

Many families today seek artificial insemination from a sperm donor, including lesbian couples, single women, and heterosexual couples in which the male does not have viable sperm. Despite the availability of sperm banks, many women prefer to collaborate with a male friend. In this situation of ‘informal sperm donation’, a Sperm Donor Agreement is essential.

A Sperm Donor Agreement is a contract between the sperm donor and the person seeking to use that donor’s sperm for insemination purposes, without using a sperm bank as intermediary. The primary purpose of this document is to clearly identify that although the sperm donor is the biological father, he intends to sever all legal rights and responsibilities of fatherhood, including visitation access, all decisions about the child’s health, religion, schooling, or anything else, responsibilities for child support, and any other care or support of the child.

Swept up in the excitement of planning parenthood, potential parents and a potential donor may not speak in detail about their expectations of the donor’s role. As with a romance, people often rush past important stages of trust-building and negotiation. The discussion and reflection involved in crafting a well-meditated agreement will help prevent future misunderstandings and disappointments.

For instance, everyone must be in agreement about the role of the sperm donor in the child’s life, if any. A lesbian couple may choose a sperm donor who is a relative of the woman not intended to give birth, so that the child will be related by blood to both women. In other instances, a trusted friend may be invited to be a donor. In either case, it is likely that the donor and the child will come into contact, and it is in the best interest of the child that the donor and potential mother (or couple) come to agreement about the expected level of contact, if any. In some families, the donor may be treated like a special uncle, always present at birthday parties and family gatherings. The child may know from a young age that this man is his donor, and that they have a special connection. Other families choose for the child and donor to have little or no contact. There is not one right way to handle this issue, conflicting expectations lead to conflict.

What issues should be discussed between a potential sperm donor and birth parent?

I recommend that a potential sperm donor and potential birth mother or couple sit down and discuss the following:

• Do both sides agree that the sperm donor will never have financial responsibility of any kind?
• Do both sides agree that the sperm donor will relinquish all legal parenting rights, including decision-making about the welfare of the child, or formal visitation rights?
• Will the donor have a relationship with the child? If so, how often will the donor visit the child? (Occasionally is not specific enough. Once a week? Several times per year?)
• What will the child call the donor?
• When will the child be told that this person is his or her donor?

Since in some states, a Sperm Donor Agreement has tenuous or no legal standing, it is essential that both sides feel significant mutual trust.

Whether to prevent litigation or interpersonal strife, it is crucial to find a donor you are sure will not change his mind in the future, even if he ends up not having other children or if he disagrees with your parenting choices.

Similarly, a donor should be confident that the birth mother is emotionally stable and capable of parenting without financial or other assistance. If the potential donor is merely a friend of a friend you have only met a few times, it may be better to just use a sperm bank.

The process of insemination: Is a turkey baster enough?

A Sperm Donor Agreement will be most legally viable if a licensed physician is used in the insemination process. This may involve a several month waiting period in which the semen is ‘washed’ and tested by the medical facility, and then several months of insemination attempts during ovulation. Families often balk at the time and expense of this process, but if you have concerns about the legal status of the agreement, this effort may be very worthwhile. I recommend using a physician in New York State, or consulting with an LGBT family law attorney in your state for advice tailored to your situation.

Will a Sperm Donor Agreement be enforced in court?

This field of law is shifting with the increased acceptance of artificial insemination and alternate routes to parenting.

As of January 2012, Sperm Donor Agreements precluding the parental rights of sperm donors have been enforced in California, Colorado, Florida, Indiana, New Mexico, Ohio, Oregon, and Washington, DC, particularly if done via a licensed physician and where there is no involvement in the child’s life by the donor. Keep in mind that these challenges were raised because one party to the agreement later tried to contradict the agreement in court, either with a sperm donor seeking visitation rights or a mother seeking child support (or the state seeking it for her if she is on public assistance). These challenges are very rare, but still cause anxiety and present a slight risk to those entering into Sperm Donor Agreements.

In New York courts, donor agreements have been enforced between a donor and married couple, in which case the couples is assumed to be the legal parents, including in same-sex marriages; in New York, donor agreements are also enforced when the partner of the woman being inseminated adopts the child in a second-parent adoption. In this case the legal rights of the donor are severed. I strongly recommend second-parent adoption for same-sex female couples; their marriage may not be accepted in other states as evidence of parental relationship to the child, but a second-parent adoption is strongly legally enforceable nationwide.

It is worthwhile to create a Sperm Donor Agreement even its enforceability is legally uncertain. The process of negotiating the agreement and memorializing shared intentions in writing agreement will make it very unlikely that the parties will later disagree and bring the matter before a court. In the unlikely event that you do go to court, even if the agreement is not binding in your state, the court may look to it for guidance in what you intended and often uses it as a factor in making its decision. Furthermore, we need strong Sperm Donor Agreements challenged in courts so that they may be ruled legally binding. If a strong agreement is presented in a New York court, we will have the chance to change New York state law to make Sperm Donor Agreements enforceable and help future parents protect their rights.

Diana Adams is an attorney mediator who assists families to create stable family agreements, including Sperm Donor Agreements, second-parent adoptions, marital contracts. Her practice is based in New York and often serves the LGBT community. www.dianaadamslaw.net

LGBT people often avoid medical treatment because they have been treated poorly by health practitioners in the past or because they fear stigma and marginalization because of who they are. Many studies confirm the harsh treatment LGBT people experience in health care settings.

Lesbian Cancer Initiative (LCI) Coordinator Cristina Moldow, Gender Identity Project Community Prevention Coordinator Cristina Herrera, and LCI Intern Kaz Mitchell

At a recent joint City Council hearing held by the Committee on Civil Rights and Committee on Health, two Center staff members and an intern testified in favor of strong LGBT cultural competency training in New York City’s public hospitals. Gender Identity Project Community Prevention Coordinator Cristina Herrera, Lesbian Cancer Initiative (LCI) Coordinator Cristina Moldow, and LCI Intern Kaz Mitchell all urged the City Council to support and bolster efforts by New York City Health and Hospitals Corporation (HHC) to require trainings that ensure all LGBT people are treated with the utmost respect in city hospitals, and develop robust standards to evaluate the progress of such endeavors.

As Herrera, Moldow and Mitchell all noted:

“LGBT people underutilize care largely due to fear of, and past experiences of discrimination and mistreatment.  A long-standing community history of violence and abuse has left many community members mistrusting, especially where physical contact is concerned. Oftentimes it’s difficult for people to find a medical provider who has experience working with LGBT patients, let alone a comfort level.”

Our Center advocates stressed the vital need for respectful, patient-centered and culturally competent healthcare services for the thousands of LGBT patients served by public hospitals and community health centers every year; they also offered the Center’s continued expertise and resources to help make this a reality.  The Center is pleased to help the city in its efforts to make New York City public hospitals safe, welcoming settings for all LGBT people.