Center Blog

For me, it was the birth certificate; there it was, in black and white (well, black and light blue): my wife of 3 years as the Mother, and me as Father/Parent, with sex “F”. Myself being genderqueer, the need for my sex on the birth certificate of my child was problematic, but there was something undeniably vindicating about opening that envelope. Here our marriage is only recognized in a few states, and even here in New York, only recognized in some institutions, but we didn’t have to go through any special applications or appear in court to have this document issued correctly.

I think for all member of the LGBTQ community, there are shining moments they didn’t think were possible, last year, five years ago, or half a lifetime ago. I didn’t think the birth certificate was going to be one of those moments for me, but when it was in my hand, with an embossed seal and thick paper, it became something of which I was very proud.

Our journey into parenting was, in many ways, not very notable: We decided we wanted children (me deciding several painstakingly long years after my wife, if you ask her), we did some research, and we started trying. A few roller-coaster months later, we had the greatest news of our lives. Then the baby came, and ever since, we’ve been doing laundry. But that story leaves out the interesting parts: the research included looking for a sperm donor that I felt most closely resembled a male-bodied version of myself, and then working through the disappointment that I couldn’t be the sperm donor myself; we spent hours carefully telling family members, “We’re going to have a baby, so Kai will be a Papa!” to set our expectations for language; and perhaps most memorably, we had to carry a cryogenic tank across town, pick up sperm, and walk a mile home with a container emblazoned with “Caution: Bio Hazard” through the streets of New York.

At the beginning of this journey, I attended the first meeting of the Center Families Transgender and Genderqueer Parents and Prospective Parents group. I am a co-facilitator at the group, so I am helplessly biased in this respect, but I have had many wonderful conversations receiving support from others in all stages of parenting, giving advice on issues we’ve worked through, and sharing stories of joy and sadness. The group is as diverse as its members – discussions happen organically with someone sharing a thought, or telling a story. Perennial favorite discussion topics include family acceptance and education, parenting through foster care and adoption, what our children will call us, pregnancy in a transgender or genderqueer body, and navigating social situations and the questions of our own children.

Everyone with any interest or experience in parenting is welcomed warmly – there are babies and toddlers at the meetings, pregnant folks, parents of older children, and those thinking of parenting somewhere down the line. The group meets at the LGBT Center monthly on a Sunday late in the month – for November we’re meeting this Sunday, November 21st from 12:30 to 2pm. In January and onward, we meet on the 4th Sunday of the month, from 12:30 to 2pm.

Please come, share your story, ask questions, and join the discussion!

Kai Johnson
Co-facilitator of the Center Families Transgender and Genderqueer Parents and Prospective Parents group.
For any further questions, or to be added to the mailing list, contact ksjohnson3@gmail.com

Over the past couple months an alarming number of young LGBT people across the country have taken their own lives, and in our city hate crimes against our community appear to be on the rise. At this time we must stand together and support each other. This past Saturday, our YES (Youth Enrichment Services) program hosted a youth dance offering young people ages 13-22 a chance to do this very thing. As I walked down 13th street on my way home from Women’s Event 13, I could hear the sound of music coming from the Center, and a smile came to my face.

When I entered the Center, I was so proud of what I saw. Over a hundred youth filled our first floor beaming with confidence and pride. The Center serves as a safe space allowing each of these young people a chance to be themselves without fear or judgment. I noticed several youth who appeared to be on first dates, and I realized that the Center is the place where these young people feel safe enough to be themselves – and even bring a date! Positive energy filled the Center that night and I was reassured that our community can overcome any hate or intolerance that we face…IF we support each other.

YES participants dancing during Summer Camp

As a Center donor, you can make this possible. Every dollar that you give ensures LGBT youth a place to go, not only for crisis-intervention, but for connection to community 365 days a year. YOU allow our LGBT youth a chance to develop into healthy adults. It gets better, but in truth, YOU CAN MAKE IT BETTER, today!

The Center wants our youth to know they are part of OUR community. To do this we are asking you to purchase a Center membership for a young person today! Your gift of $70 will pay for your individual membership and offer one young person a membership making them a proud card-carrying member of the LGBT community. A generous donor has offered a matching gift for this program, so every dollar you give today will become 2! Help us make this $35,000 goal today!

Glennda Testone

It is my absolute pleasure to tell you about a wonderful event happening at the Center right now. We have the distinct honor to welcome New York State Governor David Paterson to our home on 13th Street to sign into law the Dignity for All Students Act. Governor Paterson is one of the most dedicated and staunch LGBT allies our community has ever had in an elected state office. The Center is thrilled that the Governor has chosen to come here today to sign the Dignity for All Students Act. This long anticipated anti-bullying law is critical for the youth who come to the Center’s Youth Enrichment Services program, as it is for all LGBT youth across New York State, because it addresses the bullying and harassment that threatens their safety and security in school. The Dignity for All Students Act helps make schools the safe haven they should be for our young people as they prepare for their futures.

For more than 28 years, the Center has been much more than an organization providing critical social services to adults, more than a place which provides after school programs to New York City’s LGBT youth, and more than the place where our community comes for cultural programs or to gather for celebration. The Center is THE place our community gathers in times of crisis and THE place our government representatives come to celebrate a milestones in our quest for equality.

We at the Center applaud all those in the New York State legislature who voted for this bill, and we are especially proud and grateful to the lead sponsors of this legislation, Assembly member Daniel O’Donnell and Senator Tom Duane for their determination in getting this bill passed.
We thank Governor Paterson for his continued support of the LGBT community in its entirety. He has advanced the cause of civil rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals by directing all state agencies to recognize same-sex marriages legally performed in other jurisdictions to the full extent permitted by law, and by issuing an executive order banning discrimination in State employment on the basis of gender identity. Governor Paterson also placed landmark marriage equality legislation on the agenda for the Legislature’s extraordinary session. Though it did not pass, it was an historic vote that has emboldened Governor Paterson and advocates for same-sex marriage to fight harder to ensure that this civil right is recognized in the State of New York.

Glennda Testone

Consider me inspired! I’ve seen the New York City Pride Parade many times, but I’ve never marched. This year, I was fortunate to march with the Center and be in the thick of it. All of my questions were answered and I was completely won over by our community’s collective commitment to the LGBT movement. The sheer beauty, resilience and vibrant diversity of our community filled me with pride and deep appreciation. Along the march, I met young people who never stopped dancing, parents pushing strollers and never running out of patience, HIV+ activists, LGBT immigrants celebrating pride for the first time, transgender participants, friends, colleagues and family. I want to thank the Center staff and board members, interns and volunteers who shared their pride with me and with our entire community. My friend and mentor, Joan Garry, made this video that will give you a snapshot of the glorious day. Enjoy! And thank you, Joan.

Click here to read more about the parade.

From the Center’s Youth Enrichment Services (YES) Program:

VIGIL ON WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 5, 2009
The LGBT Community Center in Tel Aviv (Municipal GLBT Community Center, The City of Tel Aviv-Yafo) was confronted with a dreadful attack this past weekend. On

Saturday night, a masked individual entered the LGBT center and opened fire, killing two young people and wounding another fifteen. The attack came in the middle of an LGBT youth support group gathering and many victims are in their teens. Current reports indicate police may have a lead on the individual.

What can we do?

Attend activities on Wednesday — Support our LGBT family by joining the
activities on Wednesday that start at YES at 5:30. See below for details.

Send an email — We would like to express our sincerest condolences to the LGBT Community Center in Tel Aviv, and ask you to do the same. Thoughts and condolences can be sent to CenterLink at CenterLink@LGBTcenters.org and we will forward those to the Center.

Make a card — As a way to support or LGBT family in Tel Aviv, consider making a card. As the youth in the hospital may be there for a while, it would really help to lift their spirits to receive mail from you.

This may bring up a lot of emotions for you. Please see a staff member or drop-in
counselor to talk about how you are feeling.

Schedule for Wednesday, August 5—you can join for any or all of the events!
5:30 — Meet at YES for poster/sign making and processing what happened.
6:30 — Leaving YES to walk down together to Congregation Beth Simchat Torah, 57 Bethune Street.
7:00 — Vigil starts at Congregation Beth Simchat Torah, 57 Bethune Street.

More information at Center Calendar.

The Center’s Youth Enrichment Services program created a zine for Pride 2009 that is now available for download. The zine, entitled OutSpoken Views, was born from the YES Zine Group, which meets every Tuesday from 4:00-5:00 PM at the Center.

The purpose of the group is to give LGBT youth the chance to express themselves through a page of writing or other form of art. The YES Zine Group has included poetry, a letter, an LGBT survival guide, and more inspirational clips of writing in their colorful and creative online flipbook. Some of the themes addressed are self identity, pride, equality and love. Download the zine here!