Center Blog

Guest post by Julia Moore

On Thursday, March 22nd, The Center hosted the Fire Island Share-a-thon, an event that connected people offering their time shares with those who were seeking shares on Fire Island.

As drinks were poured and the disco ball twinkled, people talked excitedly while they perused the numerous booths that showcased various houses. It’s no surprise that so many were interested in purchasing shares; as far as beach getaways go, Fire Island has a lot to offer. Because it draws a diverse range of people, this vacation spot has something for everyone. “You will find every age bracket, multiple lifestyles, and a range of careers and backgrounds” said Adam, a long-time Fire Island guest. Jim, another Fire Island veteran, echoed Adam’s sentiments while explaining the various types of houses: “there are party houses, vegetarian houses, you name it.” Some choose the Island for the gay party atmosphere, while others simply want a quiet getaway where they can read and cook dinner with friends. With both clubs and cultural events, it’s easy for everyone to find exactly what they’re seeking.

Fire Island’s rich gay history allows for a community where everyone feels comfortable expressing themselves. Guests vacationing on the Island on the Fourth of July enjoy “The Invasion,” a celebration where Drag Queens come to Fire Island for a parade and general merriment. The Invasion started as a response to an unfortunate event in 1976. When a Drag Queen was denied service at a bar because of her gender identity, fellow drag queens and many Fire Island residents were outraged. The Homecoming Queen of the Arts Project Cherry Grove, Panzi, was so troubled by the news that she and 9 friends dressed in drag and returned to the bar. Surprisingly, instead of being met with hostility, Panzi and her friends were welcomed by the owners, and so the invasion soon became a yearly tradition.
For those who own property or have been going as guests for multiple years, Fire Island holds many fun memories.

Those new to the Island are certain to make new friends and fall in love with the island’s unique charm. No matter the reason for coming to Fire Island, everyone can be sure they will encounter a safe, welcoming community and a breathtaking beach.

Hello Riders, Crew and Friends:

We are so excited about the upcoming Ride, and in fact, this annual event has been raising critical funds for the Center’s HIV/AIDS related programs and services for 18 years, all the way back to 1995! There are many things in the works, but I wanted to countdown the Top 5…

5. Registration

Our registration and fundraising pages are up and running for both individuals and teams. This Boston to New York cycling journey is set for September 21-23. If you aren’t already one of the fast-growing number of people to register, please do so here. 

4. Party Time

We are putting together a celebratory kick-off event at the Center on Monday, April 16th from 6:30 – 8:30 PM. It will be an opportunity to meet fellow riders and crew, sign up, introduce new friends, potential riders and donors to the Center, and bid for fantastic raffle items including a free massage, gift cards, and tickets to upcoming Center events. An official RSVP invitation will be out soon, but in the meantime please save the date!

3. Fundraising

The ride has already received many pledges, and our website is ready and waiting for you. A special shout out to an amazing (and new) rider named Anthony, who already brought in the most number of donors so far. Go Anthony! He’ll join our kick-off celebration on April 16th (and P.S., is the masseur behind the raffle item!) Come meet Anthony and schedule your appointment.

2. Producer

After a great deal of research, due diligence and thoughtful consideration, we are thrilled to announce the selection of LeadDog Marketing Group, Inc. as our 2012 Ride producer. An event production and marketing agency headquartered in New York, LeadDog has a passion for, and extensive experience in, logistical support and production for run, walk, and bike events across the country. LeadDog excels in creating and executing unique events that advance causes, delivering impeccable support and an inspiring experience to each participant. They maintain multi-year relationships with Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, Multiple Sclerosis Society, American Cancer Society, and Wildlife Conservation Society, among others. Come meet some of the LeadDog team who will be working on our Ride at the April 16th kick-off event – they are excited to meet you!

1. You

Speaking of you, I can’t thank you enough for all you do to support our life-saving and life-enhancing HIV/AIDS programs. Your efforts truly change lives: “Dan” is an immigrant who came to the Center on the brink of suicide after his health began deteriorating as a result of his HIV positive status. Center counselors gave him the emotional and mental help to cope with the difficulties of being an undocumented immigrant and HIV positive. Through the community of resources and support the Center is able to provide, Dan not only found personal stability, he is thriving! On behalf of the Center staff, and all of the clients like Dan we serve each and every day, thank you!

As always, if you have any questions feel free to contact me or Jose at 212.620.7310, and I look forward to seeing all of you on the 16th!

Your fellow rider,

Glennda Testone

Guest Post by Client who participates in the Center’s Skills For Emotional Health Group

Skills For Emotional Health is an all-gender interactive support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender-identified people to discuss personal emotional challenges and to develop skills for managing these issues. Challenges include experiences of anxiety, depression, excessive self-criticism, recurring distressing thoughts, and other mental health concerns. Members are encouraged to share successful coping strategies, develop non-judgmental self-acceptance, and strengthen support networks.

For many emotionally challenged LGBT people there is a belief that there is no “safe haven.” Fears, depression and anxiety rule our lives and we wonder if we will ever be able to relate to others.

Far too many of us are seeing professionals, but the sensation of being isolated, alone and owning our depression and negative feelings about ourselves, as if we deserve this self-loathing. Outside sources such as family and religion, are more often than not, major contributors to our negative self-image and it seems there is nowhere to turn.

We have been programmed into a mind-set that “our kind” are freaks and have been punished by factors at home, in society, or both. We have often been brain-washed into self-hatred by parents or siblings,  peers, religion, and society at large, or combinations of all of these factors.

The Center group “Skills For Emotional Health” offers an unique alternative to such negativity. This is not a replacement for one-on-one therapy, but it is a positive group environment, where we can express our deepest feelings that prevent us from being the person we wish to be. It is a place where we can voice and/or vent our frustrations, fears, anxiety and self-loathing in a warm, supportive and self-affirming atmosphere.

There are no quick cures, but we are all on a journey of self-discovery and hope. Nothing good comes easily or fast, but here, we can be ourselves with others of similar experience and begin the healing process in a guided and supervised setting. No judgments, no criticism, no harsh words; only our peers, all going through this process together and for many, for the very first time ever.

Those who participate in this group learn that we can understand and face our own demons, and we can begin to defuse and disarm those gremlins of the past that still hold sway over us and eventually send them packing. There are no guarantees in life, but group therapy is one way we can find support and insights into this long, dark tunnel, towards that glimmer of hope and light up ahead.

The Center has spent nearly three decades looking out for the health and well being of LGBT people.  This week we, and dozens of organizations across the nation, celebrate the 10^th Annual National LGBT Health Awareness Week.

Spearheaded by the National Coalition for LGBT Health, the theme of the 2012 campaign is “Come Out for Health,” and described as a call to action for community members, advocates, service providers, and governmental officials to recognize health and wellness as an essential part of the social justice movement for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals, families and the wider community.

The Coalition is committed to improving the health and well being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals through federal advocacy that is focused on research, policy, education, and training.  The LGBT community includes individuals of every sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, race, ethnicity, and age; regardless of disability, income, education, and geography. Members are dedicated to effecting change by uniting this rich diversity at the national level.

Here at the Center the Community Services Department is incorporating LGBT health awareness themes into a number of our groups in the wellness, recovery, youth, and family program areas. Members of our staff also testified in favor of strong LGBT cultural competency training in New York City public hospitals, at a recent joint NYC City Council hearing by the Committee on Civil Rights and Committee on Health.

According to the National Coalition for LGBT Health:

LGBT people face numerous barriers in access to health care services. These barriers include lower rates of access to health insurance and fear of discrimination by providers who lack an understanding of LGBT health concerns.

According to a recent national survey conducted by Harris Interactive®, nearly one in four gay and lesbian adults lack health insurance and rates of uninsurance are even higher for bisexual and transgender people. These lower rates of health insurance coverage result from factors that affect many LGBT people and include poverty, unemployment, and job discrimination. Moreover, most employers do not extend health insurance benefits to the family members of LGBT employees, and practices that limit or deny access to coverage on the basis of pre-existing conditions also contribute to low rates of insurance.

Beyond the difficulty of accessing coverage, barriers persist in many health care settings. Health care providers may be insensitive to LGBT health concerns and are often not trained to communicate with LGBT patients. Fear of harassment or concerns about privacy also often lead LGBT people to withhold personal information from their providers. This can include vital information such as sexual orientation, gender identity, prescription medication use, sexual behavior, substance use, and relationship concerns such as domestic violence.

These disparities in access result in worse health for the LGBT community in comparison to the general population. LGBT people often experience increased health risks, such as substance use and violence, as well as higher rates of conditions such as cancer, mental health concerns, and sexually transmitted infections. Without timely access to vital health care, these disparities can be deadly.

What can you do?

*Share your stories with providers and policy makers about the importance of health and access to health care for the LGBT community.

*Share the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association guidelines with your health care providers and help them create a safe and welcoming environment for the LGBT community.

*Community health centers & other health facilities can participate in HRC’s Healthcare Equality Index.

*Urge providers to become familiar with guidelines for LGBT cultural competence.

Learn more:

Gay and Lesbian Medical Association: www.glma.org

CenterLink: The Community of LGBT Centers: www.lgbtcenters.org

WWW.LGBTHEALTH.NET

Look for more blogs about LGBT Health Awareness Week throughout the next several days.

Guest Post by Paul Reed

On the evening of Monday, February 27^th, Center Cinema with co-sponsorship by The Gender Identity Project screened two short films, The Joneses and Smalltown Boy, both directed by Moby Longinotto. With the filmmaker stuck in London working on another feature documentary for Channel Four, Aviva Wishnow, the producer of The Joneses, was fortunately on hand to present both films and conduct a Q&A session.

In the short feature, The Joneses, we are introduced to a tight-knit family living all together in a trailer home in rural Mississippi. Jheri Rae Jones, formerly the father of the household, rears her two adult sons, Trevor, a 34 year old depressed from the absence of a love life, and Brad, a son born with brain damage. Both sons display a deep love and respect for Jheri, calling themselves fortunate to have such a great mother in their lives. The fifteen-minute film only acts as an introduction to the Jones family, and if the viewer wants more time with the family then he or she is in major luck. Aviva informed us during the Q&A session that with the financial support of the LGBT community, the short film is being produced as a full-length feature film for early next year.

For the second short feature, Smalltown Boy, Moby takes us into another rural community, this time a small village in England. David, the central character, is isolated within his village for being different, and now at the age of fifteen has decided to come out as gay. With the scorn of his entire town upon him, David courageously decides to be paraded through the main square as the first ever, male summer carnival queen. The film expertly captures David’s resilience and triumph against dominating and seemingly imprisoning social norms. In one powerful scene, an adult man publicly insults David for being gay, highlighting the fact that in David’s reality it is socially appropriate for a grown man to act aggressively toward him, a fifteen-year old boy.

Both films alert us to the isolation that many LGBT individuals throughout the world endure and, better yet, overcome. I couldn’t help but feel grateful that I have the opportunity to watch such powerful films within the safe space of Center Cinema.

Guest Post by Donald Conrad

For those of us who weren’t looking for that über romantic venue and instead wanted to find something completely different to do on Valentine’s Day, we found it!  The center hosted a unique event that challenged the audience to think while keeping us laughing.  Booze, Sex, & Puppets was performed by separate groups of performers who were not part of a single troupe or organization.  A combination of songs, puppets, dolls and abstract swans entertained us for the evening and a beer-drinking, faux pregnant master of ceremonies, Lindsay Abromaitis-Smith, tied the series of six vignettes together.  As she popped the top on a beer during her introduction, she matter-of-factly informed us that her doctor told her that she shouldn’t drink more than “four of ‘em a day.”

Puppets were center of attention in the first two vignettes. A puppeteer singing Dolly Parton’s “He’s Going to Marry Me” performed the first vignette.  Alissa Hunnicutt has a lovely voice and she expertly manipulated the puppets to the lyrics of the song.  In the next vignette the puppet, Grandma Getta, performed by Kirsten Kammermeyer, informed us how much she appreciates a person’s backside; constantly reiterating the words, “Wow you have a HOT ass,” to wild laughter as she pointed to random people in the audience.

The third and fourth vignettes used dolls.  Both required the audience to search for meanings.  In the third, not a word was uttered as the master of ceremonies led the audience through a writhing, almost erotic, birth of unisex twin dolls.  The scene went on with these dolls seemingly impregnating each other and each giving birth to another doll.  It all ended with the master of ceremonies nursing the offspring.  I have to admit that I am still struggling to understand the intended meaning, but I was completely mesmerized by the entire scene.  The fourth vignette involved electro band Prima Primo acting as windup dolls.  Using various props, the two dolls, performed by Stephen Franco and Janet Castel, explored the interpersonal relationships between individuals.

Following a humorously bawdy ballad, sung by Alissa Hunnicutt, called The Cunning Linguist, which contained hilarious double entendres in every line, we were ask to cover our eyes.  When we opened them, we found four gyrating objects of white sitting on the stage.  To music of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake, two men (the hunters) began to interact with the “white swans.”  Before long it was obvious that these hunters were playing out their sexual fantasies with the swans.

Although extremely diverse, all the vignettes on some level spoke to the vast kinds of relationships between human beings.  Some were humorous, some somber, some a little confusing, but all were entertaining and worth the time spent.

This blog is crosss posted with permission from It’s Conceivable

Guest Post By Evita Nancy Torre, Esq. 

Since New York became the sixth state to legalize same-sex marriage, adoption attorneys have been flooded with inquiries about the continued need for second-parent adoptions, which allow a same-sex parent to adopt their partner’s child (biological or adoptive) without terminating the first parent’s legal rights. If a same-sex couple moves—or even travels—to one of the many states and countries that do not allow or acknowledge same-sex marriage, the second-parent loses all recognized rights and responsibilities to the child. The only way to guarantee that the relationship is enforced is via a second-parent adoption, and both same-sex and adoption advocates strongly suggest same-sex couples pursue this option.

Adoption law, along with all family law, is based on the best interests of the child—what serves the child’s well-being and ensures the child’s safety. If there is an emergency medical decision needed for a child and the second-parent is the only person available to make that decision, the second-parent adoption can be literally life-saving. Additionally, adopting as a second parent gives the child certain rights, such as child support, social security and health insurance benefits, and inheritance from you. The adoptive parent will also have the right to custody and visitation regardless of the status of the partnership or marriage. And if a parent passes away or becomes incapacitated, the second-parent’s rights and responsibilities, which are not guaranteed in a state or country that does not recognize same-sex marriage, will be protected.

Steps to a Second-Parent Adoption in New York

In New York, Family Court and Surrogate’s Court have jurisdiction over adoptions. Although the processes in Family Court and Surrogate’s Court are very similar, each court, especially based on which county the case is in, runs differently. There is no steadfast rule about which court is most expedient or which judge is least flexible, but an experienced adoption attorney understands the nuances of the individual court’s requirements and how to interpret a court calendar and judge/surrogate rotation to the client’s benefit.

Along with initial legal paperwork, a home visit (study) by a social worker is conducted. A parent can obtain a free home study from the Probation Department but unfortunately there is a tremendously long wait time. Or, you can choose a court-approved and licensed social worker based on the suggestion of your adoption attorney. In addition to being LGBT-friendly, a parent should inquire about the social worker’s employment history, the cost of the homestudy (anywhere from $500 to $1000) and the amount of time for the homestudy to be completed (usually 30-60 days for the report to be written).

What to Expect from the Home Study

Your social worker will likely call you prior to the date of the home study to allow you to ask questions about the process. During an approximately three-hour visit, the family and the home will be evaluated to make sure the environment is suitable and safe (i.e. safety measures, window guards, outlet covers, a fire safety plan) for a child. Various factors will be reviewed, such as your social, economic, medical, and criminal (by taking fingerprints to check for criminal records and reports of child abuse) background. It is your social worker’s job to tell your story accurately and without judgment, and to engage your family in a discussion about aspects of adoption that you may not have considered. “I am not coming to investigate a family but rather to interview them so that I can tell their unique story in a way that is reflective of their history, morals, values, and beliefs about family and adoption,” says Shanequa Anderson, an LGBT-friendly social worker in New York City, who gives clients a questionnaire prior to her visit in order to prepare. Here’s what you can expect to prepare for the social worker:

• Dates and locations of significant life events (marriages, births, etc.)
• Financial information (savings and investment accounts, as well as monthly budgets)
• Medical information (primary care physician’s contact information and prescription medications)
• Family information (ages and names of extended family members)

Before, during, or after the home study is completed, an adoption attorney will provide parents with the remaining legal paperwork, including a Child’s Medical History Form, an Agreement of Adoption, an Affidavit of Financial Disclosure, and the Order of Adoption. Additional forms may be necessary, depending on the court, county, and case facts. The paperwork is detailed and can be daunting, but a court requires thorough information to protect the child’s best interests. Your adoption attorney will lead you through the process, explain each form, and answer any questions or concerns you might have. If the court has questions or requests further documents, your adoption attorney will notify you and help you fulfill the court’s conditions.

Second Parent Adoption Timelines and Wait Times

Within approximately eight months, depending on the specifics of your individual case, your adoption attorney will submit the complete package (including legal forms and homestudy report) to the court. Once submitted, the adoption clerk will review your file within approximately two to three weeks. If there are any requested additional forms or preliminary questions, these are handled at that time. After the clerk feels the packet is complete, it is passed to the judge for review. The judge has 60 to 90 days to review the packet and will schedule the adoption finalization after the review is completed. While some parents might be concerned that they will encounter discrimination, the New York City court system welcomes adoptions within all families. Judges enjoy finalizing adoptions of all types—straight, same-sex, domestic, international—and try to make the event a memorable occasion for you, your partner, and your child, who must be present.

The court will advise you and your attorney of a picture-taking policy, and whether other guests may be in the courtroom for your family’s celebration. The special day requires no preparation and should not cause any concern. Like the birthdays and graduations you will someday share together, the adoption finalization “ceremony” (usually only 5 or 10 minutes) is a cherished moment for your family to enjoy and remember fondly.

Evita Nancy Torre is an adoption attorney with Greenberg Adoption in New York City. The firm’s founder, Cliff Greenberg, is the resident legal expert at The Center, and recently published a children’s book about a girl’s adoption by two loving mothers, “Living the Dream with Mommy and Mama.” Evita and Cliff host The Center’s monthly Family Law Clinic, and exclusively practice adoption law (public agency, private agency, second-parent, sperm donor agreements, co-parenting agreements) in Chelsea.

The way you have designed the Center’s booth at Pride draws a crowd. The lighting is set to enhance the mood of the room. Just the right floral arrangements are placed at the center of each table. You found just the right image to portray the theme of the party. Children smile along the parade route as you pass out pom-poms and balloons that you got donated for the event.

There are internships and there are INTERNSHIPS! Center interns that work in the cultural arm of the organization get to work behind the scenes in a variety of artistic and creative ways and have the opportunity to work on the front lines of community engagement and outreach. Not only do they get to work towards the fulfillment and progress of the community, they have the opportunity to do so while being a part of that community. These internships are real world, LGBT nonprofit experiences that are fast paced and exciting; at the end of the day you worked hard and rest well knowing that you played a part in your community reaching and exceeding their collective goals. 

The Cultural Programs Department at the Center provides an eclectic array of artistic, literary, theatrical and cinematic programs that celebrate and educate LGBT communities throughout the New York City Metropolitan area. These programs allow the Center to acknowledge and support our diverse cultural heritage, through performances, film screenings, art exhibits, speaking engagements, and other events featuring the leading cultural figures of our community. And this is your opportunity to learn while being a part of it.

The Center is currently accepting new applicants for the spring/summer 2012 Cultural Programs internship program. The core areas of focus will include event production and programming and assistance in the coordination of all aspects of the Center’s 2012 Pride activities. The intern will work approximately 15-25 hours a week. What more will you do, you might ask. The duties and responsibilities will include but not be limited to:

 • Assist in curating and producing the Center’s array of LGBT and allied speakers, artists, authors, performers, and filmmakers.

• Assist in basic programming and production management, artist research and communications, season planning, marketing and outreach, and office administration.

• Assist in the development and implementation of the Center’s Pride plan in 2012, supporting the Cultural Programs Coordinator who will serve as Pride Coordinator.

• Attend all Center Pride events in the Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island, any additional special Pride events, and act as a positive representative of the Center.

• Assist in the evaluation of Pride activities and make recommendations for implementation and strategic planning for future years

Requirements: Qualified candidates should demonstrate excellent written, verbal, and communication skills; be proficient with MS Office suite products; be detailed oriented; and thrive at working independently and collaboratively (a good sense of humor is also appreciated). Knowledge and familiarity of LGBT communities and issues is strongly preferred; a high sense of responsibility and commitment to the mission of the Center required. Evening and weekend hours will be required.

Interested in applying? For consideration, submit a cover letter stating desired position with resume by email to jobs@gaycenter.org. Please include “2012 Cultural Programs Intern” in the subject line. Materials may also be sent via fax (212) 924-2657.

As we approach our 18th year riding to fight HIV and AIDS, we know this year will surpass all others. Over the past nine years, our riders have traversed the east coast, whether north from Pennsylvania or south from Boston, rain or shine, all in an effort to raise vital funds for the Center’s diverse HIV/AIDS related services and programming. We are immensely grateful for their support and participation all along the way.

As we embark on our 2012 Ride, change is in the air. We are in the selection process for a new producer, and getting on with the business of recruiting riders and crew for our 2012 event. The Center’s Ride will go on, with exciting opportunities on the horizon – a new name, new ideas and new perspectives, improved fundraising and training support, and the chance to enhance and strengthen the overall experience for everyone. We want each and every one of you to come on this journey with us, and we know it’s going to be an amazing ride!

Our clients are our number one priority and we must continue providing HIV/AIDS related programs and services at an even greater capacity. This announcement comes at a time of great urgency for the Center. Public funding for HIV/AIDS has fallen drastically and the vast need for our programming continues to climb. Improving the Center’s AIDS Ride is a vital first step to ensuring we have enough resources to sustain and enhance the programs and services we provide to the people who need us most.

The name of the Ride may be changing, but our commitment to ending HIV/AIDS will never change. The people involved with this Ride over the last 17-years are our extended family and we take that very seriously. We are committed to making this year’s Ride and all future rides as magical as always.

The Center’s AIDS Ride is set for September 21- 23, 2012. You can sign up for the Ride on our website, and please join us on Monday, April 16th for our 2012 Ride Kick-off Party at the Center!

And, don’t forget to mark your calendar for Boston to New York, September 21-23, 2012!

Glennda Testone

Guest Post by dot429

LGBT social network dot429 is excited to be partnering with The Center, which will serve as the beneficiary of the upcoming 429BRUNCH at the Tribeca Grand Hotel, on Sunday, March 11 from noon to 3 PM.

Beneficiaries are a vital part of dot429’s in person events, as we believe the LGBT community is one which loves to give back, and we support the philanthropic spirit of our members through our own giving. Dot429 has a long history with the Tribeca Grand, which is a beautiful space that has hosted a number of brunches for us in the past, and is the home of our annual StraightTalk conference.

Dot429 is the largest LGBT social network with a database of over 60,000 professionals across the United States who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and allies of the gay community. The site connects people to one another with the intent of enriching both their careers and lives.

In March, dot429 will be launching a number of new features, including a Jobs Board curated to highlight employers looking for LGBT candidates; a complete redesign of 429Magazine meant to bring our audience more content in a more streamlined and beautiful way; and more events across the country to bring the community together.

Click here to purchase tickets to the 429BRUNCH.