Families
Planning Biological Parenthood for Men
- ABOUT THE GROUP
- NEWS
-
EVENTS / ANNOUNCEMENTS
SPECIAL EVENT! Men Having Babies
- SPEAKERS & LINKS
About the Group
Center Kids, Center Families' Planning Biological Parenthood for Men is a monthly group that provides an opportunity to discuss the legal, medical, financial, social and moral aspects of surrogacy and egg donation faced by gay men. The group is also an opportunity to get together with other gay men considering fatherhood, share information, provide mutual support, and to build a network of gay dads.
The meetings take place on the fourth Wednesday of every month, 6:30-8:00 PM. Requested donation $5 per household.
Location: The Center
For more information and to sign up to our mailing list email Ron (ron@poole-dayan.com), the group facilitator.
We typically invite a guest speaker (see below for past speakers), but use the first part of the meeting to discuss our friends' progress and general issues and concerns.
You can watch surrogacy related video clips on the new Men Having Babies YouTube channel, including some about Center Kids and the annual Men Having Babies seminar.
NEWS
*** Special PRIDE Guests ***
For our Pride month meeting on June 25th we will have very special
guests: Michelle, a surrogate mother from South Dakota, and Michael D.,
a NY gay man for whom she carried and recently delivered a boy and girl
twins (who may also be in attendance...)! This should be a great
opportunity to hear in length the perspective of not just a gay parent
who recently went through the entire process, but also that of the
wonderful woman who carried his babies. Michelle is a single mom to
Jacob, a 6 1/2 year old son. She graduated from law school 8 year ago
and have been working as a public defender for the past 5 years.
Michelle is a first-time gestational surrogate, and she describes the
journey as "an amazing and wonderful experience all the way around".
*Congratulations to Michael for the birth of his twins Dimitri and Ioanna on March 21. The twins were carried by Michelle, a surrogate from South Dakota. Both Michelle and Michael are scheduled to speak at our June 25 meeting!
*
May 2008: Even more surrogacy in the news, some due to the recent release of "Baby Mama", and some were follow up to the articles at Newsweek and Details magazine. Two couples from our group were featured in a story by the AFP news agency titled "Surrogate mothers fulfilling gay men's parenthood dreams."
The story was picked up by dozens of publications in several languages worldwide! The couples featured in the articles are Mike and AJ (Mike spoke at our group and also on the 2006 "Men Having Babies" panel), and Chris and Jeff (who spoke at our September 2006 meeting).
Mike and AJ with their twins
Among the newspapers and websites that carried the story were several from the USA, and others from Romania, France, Russia, Spain, Argentina, Poland, Japan, South Africa, Turkey, Hungary, Uruguay, Indonesia and Morocco!
*April 2008: Surrogacy, and even our group, continue to be in the news! First was Newsweek's article earlier this month, which other than the annoying heading (and cover page) about "Womb for Rent", was actually in my mind a fairly positive and insightful view of the "curious lives of surrogates." And this week Details magazine published an article about "the Gay Baby Boom", which I think is very positive. The reporter contacted us in the process and the group (and myself) are mentioned there as well!
*Congratulations to our old-time group members Felix and Pascal for the birth of their second surrogacy child, baby Rachel, sister of Jeremiah. Rachel was born in NC on January 16, and was carried by Angela, the same surrogate who carried Jeremiah in 2006. We hope to see the happy family in one of our upcoming meetings!
*Our January 2008 meeting had a large turnout as group members were thrilled to hear about the recent experience of three new parents: James, BJ and Zak. BJ and his partner Carl brought their daughter along, and Zak was in attendance with his twin boys (see picture).
*Congratulations to our friend James on the occasion of the birth of his twins, Jamie and Jasmine!
*The Men Having Babies 2007 seminar was a great success, with more than 80 people in attendance and also much media attention (see the Blade, Metro, and Gay City News). You can watch clips from almost the entire panel presentation on the new YouTube channel we created.
Congratulations to our friend BJ on the occasion of the birth of Christina, October 1st!
Congratulations also to our friend Zack on the occasion of the birth of the twins Matan and Shai, October 6th!
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EVENTS / ANNOUNCEMENTS
MEN HAVING BABIES --
Please join us for our fourth annual informational seminar about
biological parenting for gay men. It will include a panel with legal
medical and practical expert advice, and personal stories from parents
and a surrogate. September 14, 2008 -- find out more here!
*This year's NewFest film festival starts June 5, and it has a wide selection of films about LGBT parenthood! Check below for just a small sample:
• Daddy's Love: Kenneth is a young single gay Norwegian who wants nothing more than to be a father. Working with a surrogate mother in Kansas, he eagerly awaits his son’s birth. A fascinating, intimate portrait of a father’s love and of the straight couple that helps him realize it.
• Fatherhood Dreams: In this heartfelt documentary, four gay men explore different options to attain their Fatherhood Dreams – Randy and Drew turn to adoption, Stephen co-parented his two daughters with a lesbian couple, and Scott prepares for the arrival of his twins through surrogacy.
• Tru Love: Sixteen-year-old Gertrude aka Tru is a typical high school teenager from an atypical home - she is raised by her two moms, interracial couple Leslie and Lisa, who have just moved to a new town in suburban southern California, while her two dads remain in San Francisco.
*
Mark your calendar: NIGHT AT THE TAVERN
Thursday, 10 April 2008, 6 PM
On April 10th, 2008, the Family Equality Council (formerly Family Pride) will be hosting our annual Night at the Tavern at the iconic Tavern on the Green to bring together supporters of family equality from the metro NYC area. This event is a wonderful opportunity to meet and mingle with others who care about LGBTQ-headed families, to bid on fabulous silent auction items (including an R Family Vacations cruise) and to show how much you care by making a financial contribution to our work. More information at familyequality.org.
*For those of you who are thinking ahead about how your children will fare at school, this event on Thursday October 18th may be of interest. It is the premiere of an updated /retrospective version of the groundbreaking film It's Elementary – Talking About Gay Issues in School that was released over 10 years ago. This film already served us in approaching our kids' school in discussion about ways to make it more welcoming to our family, and we were excited to hear that a new version is coming out. After the film there will be a Safe Schools Symposium with a panel discussion with leaders in the safe schools movement. For more information see this detailed invitation, and you can RSVP or make a donation at the GroundSpark site.
SPEAKERS AND LINKS
*About the May 2008 guest speaker: Andrea Mechanick Braverman, Ph.D., a psychologist
Director of Psychological and Complementary Care, RMA of NJ
Dr. Braverman is a licensed psychologist with a specialty in infertility counseling and third party reproduction issues. Before joining RMA, she spent 15 years at Pennsylvania Reproductive Associates of the Women's Institute for Fertility, Endocrinology and Menopause. She became interested in infertility while in graduate school and completed her dissertation on public attitudes towards donor insemination. She received her M.A., M.S. and Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Braverman has conducted research and published numerous articles in medical journals about the psychological aspects of infertility, attitudes of parents of children born with the use of ART, issues involved in the decision to end treatment, and psychological issues involved in using third-party donors. She has also lectured internationally on treatment issues in reproductive medicine before medical and patient audiences.
Dr. Braverman has been active with the American Fertility Association and Resolve; in 2001, she received the Family Building Award from The American Fertility Association. She is the past chairperson of the Mental Health Professional Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine and past president of the North American Society for Psychosocial Obstetrics and Gynecology. Dr. Braverman is an Assistant Professor in Obstetrics and Gynecology at University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey and Thomas Jefferson University Hospital.
*About the March 2008 guest speaker: Wade Hoffman, Program Underwriting Manager
Approaching a 20 year career in the international and domestic insurance industry, Wade has amassed a working knowledge and understanding of the Lloyd’s of London casualty liability markets for various classes of business. Most recently, joining with Beitler Services, Inc. in 2004, as Program Underwriting Manager of the Surrogate Contractual Expense Liability Insurance Plan; Wade has applied his experience with a dedicated focus in structuring financial risk solutions to the assisted reproductive technology community.
Beitler Services is a full service property and casualty underwriting insurance agency managed by a knowledgeable and experienced group of insurance professionals. Over the past fifteen years Beitler Services, Inc. has been working to provide Reproductive Technology Risk Solutions to Intended Parents pursuing Gestational Surrogacy, Lawyers Specializing in Reproductive Law, IVF Fertility Centers, and Egg Donor / Surrogacy Agencies. Beitler Services is committed to working with Reproductive Technology Professionals; providing financial risk solutions for growing families.
*About the February 2008 guest speaker: Carol L. Buell, Esq.
Ms. Buell, of Weiss, Buell & Bell, is an expert in adoption law, estate planning and domestic partnerships for non-traditional families. Ms. Buell is a graduate of Westminster College (B.A.) and Brooklyn Law School (J.D.). She is the author of several publications, including "Legal Issues Affecting Alternative Families," Journal of Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy, 2001. Ms. Buell formerly served as co-chair and board member of Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, Inc. She is currently acting as a cooperating attorney for The National Center for Lesbian Rights, Inc.
*About the November 2007 guest speaker: Dr. Michael Doyle , IVF expert
As the founder of Connecticut Fertility Associates (CFA), Dr. Doyle has practiced Reproductive Medicine in Connecticut since after completing his advanced fellowship in Reproductive Endocrinology at Yale University in 1991. Dr. Doylee received his undergraduate degree in Biology and Psychology, with Honors, magna cum laude, from Brown University in 1980. In 1985, he earned his medical degree from the University of California, San Francisco, where he received numerous academic honors, including selection to the national medical honor society, Alpha Omega Alpha.
He then completed his residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia in 1989. He completed his advanced fellowship in Reproductive Endocrinology at Yale University in 1991, and began private practice there. Since then over 3,500 babies have been born to Connecticut area couples who have been successfully treated by Dr. Doyle, and consistently praise him as a highly skilled expert who balances his skill with a caring, compassionate approach.
Dr. Doyle has authored numerous articles, research papers and book chapters covering a broad area of fertility related topics, and is a frequent speaker at medical meetings and conferences. He participates regularly in clinical research trials in the areas of fertility drugs and in vitro fertilization (IVF). His specific areas of expertise include microsurgery, advanced laser laparoscopy and hysteroscopy, treatment of severe endometriosis, management of male fertility, and in vitro fertilizationn
*About the October 2007 guest speaker: Lavi Soloway, a single gay dad
Lavi Soloway, a Canadian born naturalized U.S. citizen, has lived in the U.S. since moving to New York to attend Cardozo Law School in 1989. He is the single father of a six month old baby girl, Lily, who was conceived by in-vitro fertilization using a donated egg and who was carried by Lavi's sister, the gestational surrogate.
Lavi is a partner in the immigration law firm of Masliah & Soloway where he has worked since 1994. His practice encompasses business and family immigration, all types of non-immigrant visas, consular processing and representation of individuals in deportation proceedings. In 1993 he founded the Lesbian and Gay Immigration Rights Task Force (now Immigration Equality). In 1997 he co-authored the Handbook on Preparing Sexual Orientation Based Asylum Claims and in 2000 he helped draft the gay partners' immigration bill now known as the Uniting American Families Act which is currently pending in the House and Senate. In addition to his activism, advocacy and pro bono legal work on behalf of LGBT/HIV immigrants and their families, and his frequent public speaking at conferences on these issues, Lavi is also an avid blogger (www.lavisoloway.blogspot.com) writing about gay rights, politics, the law, immigration and his daily adventures as a single gay Dad.
*About the June 2007 guest speaker: Jennifer, a multiple times traditional surrogate:
After the birth of my 3rd son, I felt I was done. In 1997 I decided to become a traditional surrogate. My reasons were then as they are now. I love being pregnant, I have beautiful children, and my pregnancies are easy. I chose traditional because I wanted a genetic connection to the child I was carrying and a life long relationship with the family I chose. I did NOT want the mess of shots, extra hormones and possibility of multiples.
I was chosen to be a traditional surrogate by a single gay man who lived in FL. We did 2 cycles of ICI's and I became pregnant with my first surrogate baby in Sept of 1997. In June of 1998 she was born. It was the most amazing experience of my life. No words can describe how fulfilling it was to be a surrogate.
Then I decided I wanted more of my own children. I proceeded to have two more sons.
In 2005 I met a married couple and decided they were the family I was going to help next. We conceived quickly with home inseminations. And Rachel was born in June of 2006.
Since I love being pregnant and my birthing experience was totally amazing, I said, "let's do it again!" I met a fabulous same sex couple who resides in TX and we did 2 rounds of home inseminations. We are expecting TWIN BOYS!!!
I would definitely encourage anyone who is seeking a family through traditional surrogacy to research and research and research. It's a life long relationship. L
*
About the April 2007 guest speaker: Melissa Jackson Reep, a gestational surrogate
Melissa is a single mother from New Hampshire who delivered boy/girl twins on September 2006 for a gay couple in NJ. She has been since rematched with a gay couple from Canada. Melissa was matched through Circle Surrogacy and underwent the IVF treatments at Connecticut Fertility Associates.
*About the February 2007 guest speaker: Elizabeth Deutsch, Esq., gay family law
Deutsch and Deutsch Attorneys at Law
Ms Elizabeth Deutsch specializes in handling adoptions, wills and medical proxys for gays and lesbians in NY and NJ. Ms Deutsch is a graduate of Brockport State University College of NY (B.S.) and Jacob D. Fuchsberg Law Center (J.D.). She has served as a U.S. military JAG Corp (military attorney) and has served on the board of Directors to the Lesbian and Gay Association of Lawyers.
*
About the December 2006 guests: Felix and Pascal, new parents
Felix and Pascal started their journey only about a year ago, got matched with an egg donor and a carrier very quickly (with Circle Surrogacy), and got pregnant on the first try. Their baby boy, Jeremiah, was born December 13, and both he and the carrier Angela are in very good health. Angela lives in North Carolina, where the birth took place, and as it turned out Felix and Pascal became the first gay couple to receive a pre-birth order in that state.
*About the May 2006 guest: Pamela Madsen
Executive Director, The American Fertility Association
Pamela Madsen is the Founder and Executive Director of The American Fertility Association (AFA). Through her leadership, The AFA has become the premiere patient organization for education and support surrounding fertility, infertility treatments, adoption, surrogacy, and childfree living.
As an internationally recognized patient advocate, Ms. Madsen advises healthcare professionals, related industry and legislative bodies regarding the concerns and needs of the infertile. She has been invited as a patient representative to give comments to the NIH, FDA, National Conference of State Legislators, and the President’s Council on Bioethics. Her empty stroller campaign and continued advocacy were instrumental in achieving the passage of a New York State Mandate in 2002 requiring insurance companies to cover some infertility diagnosis and treatments.
Ms. Madsen is a member of the National Counsel of State Legislators Genetic Technologies Project’s Legislative Task Force on Human Genetic Technologies, the Board of Directors of International Consumer Support for Infertility (iCSi), and a Committee Member of the National Coalition for Oversight of Assisted Reproductive Technologies (NCOART).
Ms. Madsen and her husband, Kai, are the parents of two wonderfully talented and cherished IVF children – Tyler and Spencer.
*About the April 2006 guest: Minette Trent, a gestational carrier
Minette is a surrogate who recently carried and successfully delivered twins for a gay couple. Minette's moving personal story and her insightful account of surrogacy from the carrier's perspective were beyond our expectations... Her experience, personality and eloquence resulted in the entire room periodically moving from tears to laughter, while learning so much in the process. The entire presentation was documented in a 40 minute video (broken into several shorter clips). You can read more about the meeting and view the videos at this special page.
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